Sunday, November 28, 2004

Song #15

Graham’s 32 Songs - #15 “Equinox” by John Coltrane (as performed by Something Interesting).

John Coltrane was one of the world’s most talented jazz musicians. A saxophonist, he wrote many of the songs which are now “standards” for jazz bands around the world. Apart from being one of the world’s biggest selling jazz artists, he also played beside jazz legends such as Miles Davis and Thelonious Monk.

“Something Interesting”, on the other hand, are not able to make such auspicious claims to fame.

I have spoken before about how, following my exposure to “The Commitments”, I was seized by a desire to manage a successful band. This quest for fame and fortune led to my approaching a number of my friends who played musical instruments and suggesting that we establish a band which I would, naturally, manage. To my surprise they all agreed and “Something Interesting” was born.

“Something Interesting” was comprised of Matt on trumpet, Dino on saxophone, Neville on guitar, Macca on drums, Cameron on keyboards/synths and myself on electric piano, and it was pretty much doomed from the outset.

For starters, only Dino and Matt had actually played jazz before and, truth be told, other members of the band (myself included) struggled to play anything at all. Add to that the fact that rehearsals tended to, after about a half hour of actual rehearsal, degenerate into this pack of sixteen and seventeen year old boys riffling through Cameron’s dad’s porn collection, and I think you might be able to spot the origins of the group’s “artistic difficulties”.

Despite these fundamental flaws, “Something Interesting” actually did quite well for itself or, at the very least, we got further than many aspiring bands do and actually played some gigs. In total we played about six gigs, which ranged from being moderately successful to being outright debacles (when you’re asked to play for three hours and yet you only have forty minutes of material, your keyboardist arrives drunk, and the drummer can’t be there at all, things are destined to go badly).

Somewhere along the way I decided that “Something Interesting” needed a demo tape. This was so we could show potential hirers our work and, thus, get gigs which would catapult the group towards fame and fortune. I began ringing around the various sound studios and was shocked by the cost of recording a demo; it was well beyond the price range of our little enterprise.

Just when I had decided that the demo was a lost cause, I spoke to the presenter of a jazz program on Canberra Stereo Public Radio (CSPR). He suggested that we come in to the studio, play a live set to air, and then keep the recording as our demo tape. I agreed that it was good idea, booked us in, and then proceeded to tell the others, who were, it must be said, a little shocked by what I had done.

The gig itself teetered on the edge of absurdity. The sax and trumpet had tuned to each other but they hadn’t tuned to us, Neville was unable to make the gig and Cameron went on an improvisation frenzy. The poor presenters looked horrified.

There was, however, one moment when the group began to gel – Whilst we played Coltrane’s “Equinox”.

It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t dreadful, and it remains the only part of the recording that I will allow friends of mine to hear.

“Something Interesting” broke up not long after that gig and thus we never did use the demo tape to secure our fame and fortune. Dino, Cameron, Matt and Macca all went on to play in much better bands and I’m sure they now cringe whenever they hear the words “Something Interesting”, but those were good times for us all, times which I remember fondly whenever I hear “Equinox”.


I've just dragged myself through the front doors, had a much needed shower, and am now ready to sleep for a week.

Sleep, however, is for the weak, so I've decided to take a few moments to tell you about my Earthcore experience.

I was a little trepidatious about going to Earthcore this year. Although I knew a handful of people who were going to be there, I didn't know them particularly well and I had made no plans to travel/camp there with them. I was effectively going it alone.

In the comments to my last post CCR has accused me of being a dirty little raver. Well, that's not entirely true (I prefer to think of myself as a dance music aficionado), but there certainly were plenty of dirty little ravers there, and they were all having an absolute ball.

The atmosphere was electric and the camping grounds were awash with colour. There were tyedyed smoothies, information stands, tyedyed clothing, CDs, tyedyed luggage, food, tyedyed hair styles, non-fire twirlers (better known as glo-twirlers), tyedyed dust, swimming ravers, tyedyed ravers, dancing ravers and tyedyed tents. Quite a lot to take in.

Saturday night was a doozy. It started with my dancing to an incredibly eclectic set from Honeysmack for over an hour. From there I headed to the Circus tent to see TISM. Wow! TISM were, to say the least, INTENSE. One of the most insane live shows I've seen in quite a while (maybe they're just what the folk festival needs, what do you think Jar?). It's a shame that the sound was so shit.

Apparently the sound technician in the Circus tent has spent too long just mixing DJs. The sound for TISM was muddy and the lyrics (one of the most important bits) were completely lost in the wall of sound being generated by the band. Thankfully the TISM boys kept holding up signs with lyrics written on them, which helped me make some sense of what was going on.

TISM finished late, so I only managed to catch the start of Salmonella Dub's set before I headed over to the Monster Main Stage to see the king of breaks and dredlocks - Freq Nasty. After another hour and a half of dancing not even a redbull could inject my tired legs with the energy they needed to keep going, so I wandered back to the circus tent, had a sit down and listened to Jono Fernandez for about an hour.

Finally, at around 3am, I decided that it was time to try and get some sleep. Exhaustion played a big part in my being able to sleep for a few hours, but by 6.30am my dreams were being filled with thumping bass. I woke up to find my ears filled with that same bass - being provided by the Monster Main Stage which was at least 500 metres away from where I was camping.

Following a quick wander around the markets, an Immune Booster Juice (Pinapple, Ginger, Apple and Orange... Mmmmmm) and the realisation that there wasn't enough deodorant in the world to make me smell human, I packed up my camp site and headed back to Melbourne.

Which brings us back to where this post started. I had an absolutely fantastic time, even though I had gone there alone. If you haven't been to an Earthcore before then I highly recommend you make an effort to attend one... Provided, of course, you can learn to live in peaceful co-existence with hundreds of bush flies...

Friday, November 26, 2004

Neglecting The Neurocam

Yes, I am well aware that there is some Neurocam business going on.

Both Xade and Egotript have detailed some of what's been going on, and Tript even has some pretty pictures up on his website.

Just so you know, I too have received a letter (which Xade has reprinted on his blog) and I too have been to pick up a package from a safe concreted in the ground next to a well known Melbourne landmark.

Judging by the pictures on Tript's website, I'm guessing that we all got the same thing out of the safe - Pictures and a Neurocam badge, how sweet!

I would go into more detail now, but I'm going to neglect my Neurocam duties for the time being because, quite simply, I have better things to do.

I'm packed, I have my ticket to Earthcore and I'm about to drive off into the sunset.

See you all in a couple of days.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

If you're not allowed to do it yourself...

... get somebody else to do it for you.

So, the Americans are flying their terror suspects first class to other countries, so that they can conduct interrogations in countries where torture is legal... Why is it that I'm no longer surprised by this sort of revelation?

When will the pile of evidence regarding America's dodgy clandestine activities get high enough that it will tip over and crush them? Is there anybody left who truly believes that America is not doing this sort of thing on a regular basis?

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

15 minutes of Neurocam fame...

Today I got a chance to indulge my Andy Warhol tendencies.

Ever since the new Neurocam billboard was erected I have been waiting for an explosion of new Neurocam activity... An explosion which hasn't noticeably occurred... In fact I've started to suspect that I've been left out of the action (something that Egotript has also mused on).

It would seem, though, that there is more going on behind the scenes than I had thought.

Today I received a call from a reporter from The Age.

He explained that he was researching "this Neurocam thing" for a possible story and that he had found my name on the internet. He then asked if I was prepared to be interviewed for the story.
I forewarned him that I probably couldn't shed as much light on the subject as he might like and I then proceeded to answer about twenty minutes (five minutes more than Andy recommends) of questions about my involvement with the 'Cam, recent Neurocam happenings and the true identities of Bridget Fischer and co.

Don't quite know, as of yet, what to make of the whole experience. I guess I'll just have to wait for the article.

Who knows, it may even encourage the 'Cam to get back in contact with me...

Monday, November 22, 2004


Damian Lazarus' career was dead in the water.

As an A&R man he signed an artist who drove his record label broke.

Now some would say that there was no coming back from that, but Damian Lazarus has managed it, and along the way he's also managed to revitalize his DJing career.

I did an interview with him for In The Mix which you can read here...

If only the walking dead in "28 Days Later" had such good taste in sunglasses...

Sunday, November 21, 2004


... in a hopeless situation.

My very dear friend Marc just sent me a link to the most amazing thing I have ever seen on the internet.

If of late you have found yourself despairing about the path the world seems to be going down, have felt that, due to nature of our current world leaders, there was no hope in the world, then you'll be glad to know that you are not alone.

This has really made my day.

After about ten minutes of surfing through this site, I feel buoyant and hopeful once again.

I forgive you America, let's just work harder and get it right next time...

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Not dead...

.... just busy.

It's been a chaotic week.

Last Sunday I went to The Spiegeltent to see The Cat Empire. They were, unsurprisingly, amazing. A two and a half hour set followed, which involved an awful lot of jumping around, whooping with delight and general merriment.

Monday I continued the bump in of "Sapphires", then made my way back to the Spiegeltent (which, as Sapphires is in the Victorian Arts Centre Playhouse and The Spiegieltent is in the Arts Centre forecourt, wasn't particularly difficult) and witnessed the brilliant absurdity of Mikelangelo and The Black Sea Gentlemen.

Tuesday and Wednesday were devoted to Sapphires.

Thursday I helped clean the house.

Friday was work, then birthday celebrations at our house... Which involved Faaaaaarrrrr to much vodka and cranberry juice.

Today has been spent recovering.

Tonight I'm off to see Paul Farris DJ live (where I'll hopefully get the chance to apologise for the Costner comparison).

Wow! No wonder I can't seem to find time in which to blog.

Normal blogging will resume early next week.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

How not to make friends and influence people...

In every bookshop there's a plethora of books which claim to teach you the best techniques for winning friends and influencing people.

As I've never read one of those books, I'm unable to comment on whether or not they actually work, but I'm pretty sure they would all agree that comparing someone to "Kevin Costner" is not a particularly wise move.

Making "unwise moves", however, is something that I'm rather renowned for, so you probably won't be surprised to learn that I've done exactly that.

Paul Farris is a house music DJ, record-label manager, and promotions company owner from the UK.

In an effort to help promote his upcoming tour of Australia, I agreed to conduct an interview with him for In The Mix. Unfortunately, I've recently been run off my feet due to the production week of "Sapphires", so when I finally found time to write the article I was suffering from severe sleep deprivation and had become a little delirious.... Or, at the very least, that's the excuse I'm sticking with...

You can read the end of my music journalism career here.

I'm just waiting for the hate mail...

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Are you paying attention?

Pop Quiz Question #1- What happens when you elect a conservative Government?

Answer - You get conservative policies.

Pop Quiz Question #2- What's the normal conservative way to tackle racial issues?

Answer - Racist policy.

Last week an aboriginal paper leaked some of Liberal's proposed "Indigenous Welfare" policies. If you blinked then you probably missed it, as it didn't get anywhere near the media coverage it deserved. If you did miss it, then you should do some research, since it's a good sign of what Australia can expect from a conservative government which has control of both houses.

In short, this is poor policy. I can understand how, when faced with some of the issues that are particularly prevalent in rural indigenous communities, this sort of policy can seem to make sense, but, as far as I'm concerned, ANY policy which, as part of it's implementation, restricts, punishes or discriminates for or against a single racial group is abhorrent.

A policy which links welfare payments to behavioral requirements exclusively in the case of indigenous people effectively states that being born indigenous means being entitled to less freedom than a non-indigenous person. It creates, in effect, a separate class of citizen. The South Africans had a name for this sort of policy, they called it Apartheid.

Racial based policy is, by definition, racist, even when there is the possibility of some benefit to certain targeted people. Yes, some of these policies may be beneficial for indigenous individuals living in communities where there are major problems with excessive alcoholism, substance abuse, umemployment and poverty, but that is not the situation that the majority of indigenous people find themselves in.

Hypothetically, how would you feel if you were a 46 year old accountant who got retrenched, went on the dole for six months whilst trying to find work and, purely because you were aboriginal, were given a "smart-card" which stopped you from buying alcohol? If you're anything like me then I imagine you'd be outraged.

And the worst thing? Liberal has control of both houses, so there's no way to stop the implementation of this policy.

Hold on Australia, the Four-Year-Long, Conservative-Wet-Dream, Rollercoster-Of-Terror-And-Terrible-Policies begins here.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Excuses, excuses....

Generally each week, by this point, I have put up my latest song in the 32 Song Challenge. You will have no doubt noticed that this week I haven't.

What's my excuse? Well, due to the time constraints currently imposed by the production week of "Sapphires", I've decided to be a bit slack this week and give you all a break from my anecdotal, musically-influenced tales, but, rest assured, they will return next week.

If, however, you're suffering from 32 songs withdrawal then make sure you check out Jared's latest musings on the wonders of the Counting Crows, and Lunch's homage to one of the greatest songs ever written.

I, on the other hand, will be busy at work, humming "lager, lager, lager, lager...."

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

A day in the life of...

I've already informed you that my latest Neurocam assignment entailed me writing a detailed of all occurances on Friday November 5th. At the time I also informed you that I thought it wouldn't be the most interesting of reports.

My report is due to today and, despite it's slightly boring nature, I thought I should include it here for prosperities sake.

I spent the major part of the day taping gel together for the colour scrollers used in "Sapphires".

For those of you who aren't aware of some of the theatre terms I'll be using in this post, here's a quick glossary - "gel" is the thick, heat resistent colour that is placed in front of light fittings. It comes in a wide range of colours and brands from which the lighting designer selects which colour he or she wishes to use to create a desired effect.

"Scrolller" is a piece of machinery that fits on the front of a light fitting. Each scroller contains a string of taped together gel colours. Using a lighting board, the lighting designer is able to select which colour in the scroll he or she wishes to use at any given time, thus reducing the number of lanterns needed to get a wide range of colours.

That's probably all you need to know, so, without further explanation, here's the report I sent to Mr. Charles Hastings at Neurocam.

Sender: Graham Henstock
Subject: Perception Assessment Report
Date: Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Dear Charles Hastings.

Here is my the report for my perception assessment report.

I apologise in advance for the quality of the the two photos, I took them with my mobile phone and was therefore unable to exercise much quality control.


Loyally yours,

Graham Henstock.

Perception Assessment Report:

9.00am – Pull into Ferrars Street, South Melbourne
9.02am – Park car in all day pay parking out the front of MTC
9.03am – Realise I have insufficient change to buy parking ticket.
9.05am – Enter into MTC.
9.06am – Enter MTC staff cafeteria.
9.07am – Purchase Mocha and two slices of toast with strawberry jam.
9.08am – Leave Mocha and toast in production office.
9.09am – Leave MTC.
9.09:30am – Purchase parking ticket with change gained from cafeteria purchase.
9.10am – Reenter MTC
9.11am – Turn on office computer.
9.12am – Try to log on.
9.13am – Realise password has been changed by supervisor.
9.15am – Enter wrong password for 5th time. Result - Locked out of computer.
9.17am – Finish consuming Mocha and toast.
9.18am – Walk upstairs to work bench. Turn on radio (774 ABC Melbourne).
9.19am – Start constructing scrollers for "Sapphires" (Colour = Lee 009: Pale Amber Gold).
9.35am – Start taping next scroller colour (Colour = Lee 200: Double CT Blue).
10.00am – News on radio. Yasaf Arafat ill.
10.04am – Start taping next scroller colour (Colour = Lee 120: Deep Blue).
10.05am – Morning Show on 774 ABC Melbourne begins discussion about Australian Idol.
10.06am – Toilet Break, blame coffee.
10.30am – New headlines on radio.
10.32am – Morning Show on 774 ABC Melbourne begins discussion about organic food.
10.36am – Start taping next scroller colour (Colour = Lee 778: Millenium Gold).
11.00am – News on radio. Yasaf Arafat still ill.
11.05am – Conversation Hour with John Faine begins on 774 ABC Melbourne.
11.07am – Begin taping next scroller colour (Colour = Lee 201: Full CT Blue).
11.20am – Begin morning tea break.
11.22am – Enter MTC staff cafeteria.
11.24am – Purchase chocolate flavoured milk.
11.26am – Consume chocolate flavoured milk.
11.28am – Walk back upstairs.
11.29am – Pause in Wardrobe department.
11.29:30 – Notice that I am standing next to the bodies of two dead baby birds.
11.31am- Fetch Dust Pan.
11.32am – Brush dead baby birds into dust pan.
11.33am – Deposit dead baby birds in bin.
11.34am – Return dust pan.
11.35am – Continue taping colour scrolls.
11.42am – Phone rings. It is Sharn. Phone answered. Plans are made regarding later in evening.
11.48am – Phone call ends.
11.57am – Begin taping next scroller colour (Colour = Lee 113: Magenta)
12.00pm – News on radio. Yasaf Araft still ill.
12.10pm – The World Today begins on 774 ABC Melbourne.
12.34pm – Begin taping next scroller colour (Colour = Lee 327: Forest Green).
12.48pm – Begin Lunch Break.
12.49pm – Walk down stairs.
12.51pm – Leave MTC.
12.53pm – Enter pub on the corner of City Road and Ferrars Street.
12.58pm – Order Lasagna and a Cranberry Juice.
12.59pm – Continue to read "System of the World" by Neal Stephenson. Begin from page 322.
1.06pm – Cranberry juice arrives.
1.12pm – Lasagna arrives. Put book away.
1.13pm – Start consumption of Lasagna.
1.25pm – End consumption of Lasagna.
1.33pm – End consumption of cranberry juice.
1.35pm – Pay for meal and drink.
1.37pm – Leave pub.
1.42pm – Reenter MTC.
1.46pm – Once again attempt to log on to computer. Still locked out.
1.48pm – Inform supervisor of computer lock out situation.
1.50pm – Walk upstairs.
1.52pm – Continue taping colour scrolls.
2.00pm – News on radio. Yasaf Arafat possibly in coma.
2.03pm – Begin taping next scroller colour (Colour = Lee 716: Nikkel Blue)
2.30pm – Cricket coverage begins on radio.
2.31pm – Turn radio off. Turn on personal MP3 player.
2.32pm – Start listening to live set of Soul Of Man, recorded at the Glastonbury Festival.
2.37pm – Start taping next scroller colour (Colour = Rosco 74: Night Blue)
3.09pm – Start taping next scroller colour (Colour = Lee 068: Sky Blue)
3.45pm – Start taping next scroller colour (Colour = Lee 776: Nectarine)
4.21pm – Finish taping scrollers.
4.24pm – Turn off MP3 player.
4.25pm – Collect completed scrollers, head downstairs.
4.27pm – Leave MTC.
4.28pm – Get in car.
4.29pm – Begin drive to Victorian Arts Centre.
4.37pm – Arrive Victorian Arts Centre.
4.41pm – Enter through Stage Door.
4.43pm – Take lift to loading dock.
4.44pm – Walk into basement.
4.45pm – Begin loading colour scrolls into scrollers.
5.25pm – Stop loading colour scrolls into scrollers, half finished.
5.26pm – Walk upstairs.
5.29pm – Take lift to carpark level.
5.33pm – Get in car.
5.36pm – Begin drive home. Radio tuned into "Hack" on JJJ.
5.38pm – "Hack" reports Yasaf Arafat possibly dead.
6.00pm – Stuck in peak hour traffic. Change station to 774 ABC Melbourne. News starts. Yasaf Arafat not dead, just ill.
6.42pm – Park car out front of home.
6.44pm – Enter home, walk upstairs.
6.46pm – Turn on computer.
6.52pm – Head downstairs, fetch glass of cranberry juice.
6.53pm – Head upstairs.
6.56pm – Get online.
6.58pm – Check e-mail.
7.11pm – Log into Kings of Chaos account.
7.14pm – Log out of Kings of Chaos account.
7.15pm – Begin writing up an interview with UK based DJ, Damian Lazarus, for
9.00pm – Stop taking notes for Neurocam report.

Attached to the report were also these two images:

So there you have it - a day in the life of Graham Henstock.

This week, on the other hand, has been much more interesting, since I'm currently in the process of bumping in "Sapphires". It's going well, but I'll report more on that later this week.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Ain't love grand?

Some of the things you find on the internet are life changing. Some of the other things you stumble across are informative, offensive, amusing, or just plain bewildering.

This is one of the latter.

It would appear that Kaila Slater loves Corey Slater... Or at least she seems to say so an awful lot.

It's okay, though, because Corey Slater also loves Kaila Slater...

Sometimes I suspect that there a lot of people who just have too much time on their hands. I am, of course, including myself in that statement, especially since I took the time to read through both of their blogs.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

A fist full of Zillas...

As I was sitting here listening to the very smooth sounds of "Ennio Morricone Remixes Volume 2" I suddenly remembered that I had intended to act as an absent promoter for one of my dear friends.

So, if you happen to be online tomorrow afternoon make sure you head on over to After Hours DJs and check out a "Live from Washington" mix by the one and only Cyzilla.

Also, if you're in Canberra (and whilst I'mstill in the mood for promoting other people) make sure you head along and check out the fabulous Petra in BKU's production of "Noises Off", which is on in C Block at Gorman House, Wednesday through Saturday next week, starting each night at 8pm.

Of course I won't actually get the chance to experience either of the above, so please make sure you give me the opportunity to live vicariously through your accounts of both events.

Friday, November 05, 2004

Neurocam, Bond and ear-rings...

Today was the day on which I was to undergo my Neurocam perception test. As I predicted when I initially received this assignment, I really don't have that much to report from today. Mind you, if the assignment had been set for last night then I would have had quite a bit to talk about.

Last night I was employed to operate a followspot for Melbourne's "Bond" concert.

These girls sprang to notoriety after they performed at the opening ceremony of the Athens Olympics and, true to form, I'd barely heard of them.

The concert was good, although I sometimes felt that the backing tape (techno beats which the quartet played over the top of) was a tad too loud and thus drowned out what the girls were actually doing.

There were some clever moments, some not so clever moments, and some moments which could only be described as "tacky". Still, it was one of the better live concerts I've seen... Although that may have had something to do with the mini-skirts...

I'm left with one complaint from the night - I still can't hear properly.

I was sitting up the back of the auditorium, in the follow spot room, for the entire performance. The follow spot room walls protected me somewhat from the noise levels that the rest of the audience was experiencing.

Unfortunately the Lighting Designer, who was directing the follow spots, was sitting in the middle of auditorium. We were both wearing headsets to enable communication, but whenever he turned his microphone on I was treated to blast of the noise levels where he was. The loud noise levels also meant that he was being drowned out by the sound around him, so, if I wanted to be capable of discerning his directions at all, I was forced to turn my one-earphone headset's volume right up.

As a result, I left the venue with one ear ringing wildly.

This is pretty common for rock and roll technicians and is one of the reasons I regularly turn down concert work. In my opinion, a four hour call at $17.20 per hour is not worth the hearing loss I am courting... Still, I thought last night's gig, being a string quartet, may have been a little different.

The ceaseless ringing in my ear continued throughout today and, as a result, I've felt more than a little perturbed.

I think the reason it's been so noticeable is that it is only in one ear. I've had ringing ears before, especially after I've been to loud club nights or rock concerts, but on those occasions it's been in both ears. Having it only in one seems to have thrown my sense of balance out.

What, do you think, would the OH & S laws have to say about this?

Did you see that? Whinge, whinge, whinge... I'll stop now and return to what I was initally discussing.

So, my Neurocam perception test report from today is going to be a little boring. Oh well, them's the breaks. I'll still write it up some this weekend and you can expect to read it here soon.

Here's hoping that the next Neurocam assignment is a tad more interesting and doesn't involve hearing loss.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

My response to the Bush win.

Packing for bunker, check list -

1 x Sense of righteous indignation
1 x Justifiable cynicism
1 x Complete works of Hunter S Thompson
1 x Complete works of Kafka
1 x Complete works of Orwell
1 x "Live on a Dead Planet" by DJ Spooky CD
1 x MP3 player
1 x Set of decks
1 x Complete vinyl collection
1 x Swiss army knife
1 x "Hillary Clinton for president 2008" badge
1 x 4 year subscription to Adbusters
600 x Bottle of cranberry/raspberry juice
600 x Bottle of top shelf vodka
300 x Tube of condensed milk
100 x Packet of Cocoa Pops
4 x Pillow
1 x Sleeping bag
1 x Bean bag
1 x "George W Bush" punching bag
1 x Time-coded padlock set to open in 2008

Any other suggestions?

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Knowing your audience...

Wow! I think I've just discovered the advertising industry's equivalent of the Holy Grail.

All you need to do is write just one post about Jenna Bush's nipples and suddenly your site traffic goes through the roof.

Seriously though, the last 19 visitors to this blog have all come in search of a glimpse of Jenna Bush's bits. I don't know whether to be disturbed, flattered or intimidated...

For the time being, we'll just assume that I've got my finger on the world's cultural pulse. I now know what our society is secretly craving.

And yes, that makes me just as sad as the rest of you...

Deja Vu?

Upon seeing the new Neurocam billboard I was struck by an incredible feeling of Deja Vu. You know the sort of thing - I've been here before, I've seen how this story plays out.

That feeling was only intensified when I received my latest Neurocam assignment from Charles Hastings today.

Sender: Operations Division

Wednesday November 3, 2004

Dear Operative

It is a periodical necessity for Neurocam International to assess the Perception based abilities of our employees.

Please complete the following Perception Assessment test and return it in
an expedient manner.


MISSION. To assess operative's perception abilities.

EXECUTION. Write a detailed account of everything that happens between 9am and 9pm on 5/11/04. Include in this account two images that represent the best and worst things that happen on 5/11/04. Submit this report via email to by 9/11/04.


GUIDELINES. As with all Neurocam assignments, you will be assessed on the manner in which you complete this assignment. Intelligence and creativity are traits highly valued by Neurocam and a demonstration of both of these will expedite your further advancement within the organization. Your application and aptitude in this assignment will be the basis for considering you for operational integration.


Charles Hastings

Head, Operations Division

Asia Pacific Quadrant

Neurocam International

Deja vu indeed! I'm positive that I have seen this assignment somewhere before.

Oh well, I guess that means I'll be taking my pad and pencil with me to work on Friday.

Coming soon to a blog near you - A day of Graham cutting colour and wiring lights!

It'll be more entertaining than a pocket full of mice....

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

The voice of Cyzilla...

Despite the fact that he has, of late, insisted on calling into doubt my very existence, I must say that I'm remarkably impressed by the way my favourite gonzo anthropologist has decided to cover the imminent American election.

His first two audio reports have already been filed from The White House lawn and, if they're any indication of what is to come, it looks like Cyzilla's take on the election will be creative and informative in true gonzo style. Well done cZ, you would make Hunter S. Thompson proud.

The line about the "satanic, klu klux klan, robot thingy above the white house" had me in stitches.

You've read his blog, you've heard his music and you've seen his picture, well now it's time to hear his voice as he reports his experience of what will be one very interesting election.

Just for the record, although it hurts me to say so, I am forced to disagree with Cyzilla's call on the election. I would love to see Kerry get across the line, but I think his policies have lost him too many votes in the religiously devout demographics...

If you aren't yet sick of reading (and hearing) other people's opinions on the election, then Bill Bryson has written an interesting opinion piece on the election that sums up a lot of what my gut has been telling me.

Oh well, despite the fact that I don't think he'll win, it doesn't stop me from voicing my support - Go Kerry!