Jumping On The Bandwagon

I hate it when the seniors get feisty...

2007-02-25T20:14:00.000+11:00

Hmmmm... Sometimes it pays not to underestimate the people around you.

Song #19

2005-09-10T13:19:00.000+10:00

Graham's 32 Songs - #19 "Song So Uncertain" by Fred Smith.

"So many of us gathered that December afternoon
To hear the final tune of the laureate buffoon
Ceremony over with, Louise had said her piece
We poured into the Street, drank our heads off till the morning"

Sometimes it is only with the hindsight provided by the distance of time that we are able to truly identify just how much any single individual managed to influence our outlook on, and approach to, the world.

When I first worked with David Branson, a Canberra-based director, actor, musician, producer, poet and creative force of nature, I found him difficult to deal with. His energy was undeniable and his manic approach to everything was infectious, but the truth of the matter was that I found the chaotic whirlwind of creativity, madness and excess which surrounded him to be remarkably intimidating.

Incredibly charismatic and bombastic, David was constantly working on a multitude of projects. Conversations with him were kaleidoscopic in nature and would often leave me feeling equal parts confused, amused and astounded. His energy was rarely focused on anything other than creating his latest piece of theatre, his latest song or his newest poem and he would approach all tasks with a passionate mania which I struggled to comprehend, let alone deal with.

In response to his unique approach to life, I often found myself criticising the fact that David rarely devoted his energies to just a single project. I would comment that he spread himself too thin and that I felt some of his projects suffered as a result. Yet despite these criticisms, I often surprised myself when I realised how eager I was to work with David.

Over a number of years we worked together on a range of projects and I always thoroughly enjoyed myself. In hindsight I now wonder if my being intimidated by the energy which surrounded David was merely a reaction to a fear that I would be unable to match his passion for the arts.

In retrospect, I now realise that David Branson was one of the most amazing individuals that I have ever had the pleasure of working with and I deeply regret the fact that I was unable to recognize it at the time. I have met no other individual who has possessed a comparable love of theatre, music and art. David's inability to focus on any one project wasn't a failing, on his part, as I first suspected, to organise and manage his life, but was instead an indication of his need and desire to continually create and explore every field of art he encountered. He lived the arts, he breathed it and was, in truth, the purest personification of it that I have ever met.

When I first heard that David had been killed in a car accident I felt an immense sense of loss, not just for myself, nor just for David's family and friends, but for the arts as a whole. At the risk of sounding cliched, I knew that his death marked the end of an era and that it was a blow from which the Canberra arts scene, and all of us who worked within it, would struggle to recover from.

It is only since I began working at the level of the arts that I now find myself at that I have truly begun to appreciate the effect that meeting and working with David has had on my life. David's passion for life and the arts was influential and has had a noticeable effect on the way in which I now approach the arts and, perhaps most importantly, the way I identify artists I wish to work with.

Fred Smith, another Canberra creative force of immense talent, wrote "Song So Uncertain" as a tribute to David Branson and then slipped it onto the end of his CD "Independence Park". I didn't even know that it existed and so was shocked and, I'm not ashamed to say, moved to tears when I first heard it.

David Branson loved and was loved by an enormous number of people. There were literally thousands of people at his funeral service (myself included) and I have no doubt that all of them would describe him as one of the most remarkable individuals that they have ever met. It is almost four years since David died, but it is fair to say that he is still sorely missed by many.

"Song So Uncertain" is Fred Smith's beautiful and fitting way by which to remember David's life and my inclusion of it in this list is my way of paying tribute to the effect that knowing and working with David has had on mine.

"Naked as his namesake of Michelangelo
The fiddler and his bow, ran the whole damn show
We were drawn to him like refugees from Generation X
The poetry and sex, nudity and fireworks
So I took this job trying to make words rhyme
Get it right half the time though my song be so uncertain"

A little bit psycho...

2005-09-04T14:50:00.000+10:00

Professionally the last few weeks have been some of the most difficult that I've ever experienced.

After arriving back in Melbourne from the tour of "Two Brothers", I immediately immersed myself in the bump in of "Hitchcock Blonde", MTC's latest production.

Walking into a bump in without having been involved in any of the pre-production process isn't the easiest of things to do and, in this instance, was made infinitely more difficult by the fact that it quite a few people didn't see any need to achieve a lot of the things which would normally be done prior to the bump in done. It appears that the phrase "Graham will be back on Monday, so he can handle it then" was used quite a bit in the week leading up to my return.

As a result the last two weeks have been the epitome of hectic, with me racking up around 80 hours work in each week. Despite having been back for a fortnight, I have only just unpacked my suitcases.

Hopefully this week will be a touch more subdued, although I wouldn't bet on it...

Home!

2005-08-22T10:26:00.000+10:00

After six and a bit weeks on the road, I have finally arrived back in Melbourne. Good cafes, broadband internet, my own bed and, most importantly, Sharn.

Sharn and I just had brekky together and then she went off to bed (she's currently working nights). Now, just to emphasize the bizarre nature of both of our schedules, I'm off to another MTC bump in and won't be finished until 3am... Could someone please remind me again why it is that I want to work in the arts?

Now that I'm back at home and not having to struggle with dial-up modems and timed local calls (thanks very much Mr. Hotel Manager sir) there'll be a bit more action on this blog... Maybe...

Check in soon for my thoughts on sunny Wollongong...

Congratulating friends...

2005-08-16T08:43:00.000+10:00

I'm constantly amazed by just how talented and incredible some of closest friends are. It's heartening to know that when the cynic in me starts to despair at the general mediocrity of the world I need only look to my friends for a reaffirmation of my faith in humanity.

For a while now I've been meaning to point you all towards some of the things that my friends have been up to and as this seems as good a time as any -

Firstly I want to offer up a huge "congrats" to Sharon, whom I do not hesitate to describe one of my nearest and dearest even though she is based in Adelaide and we've spent a sum total of about two days in each other's company during the last three years. For the last year Sharon and her husband have been trying ever trick in the book to get pregnant. Well now it's happened, so it's time for "congrats" all round and a dance of joy in my hotel room (arms in the air, wave 'em around like I just don't care).

The second lot of congrats goes to one of my college buddies (and fellow Fitzroy-ite) Harry Saddler, who apart from authoring the impressive online serial "Instant Life Substitute" has also just had his very first book "We Both Know: 10 stories about relationships" published by Ginninderra Press. It's fantastic news which should put the rest of us who aspire to have our names on book spines to shame...

The final thing that I want to leave with you today is the admission that I must have been living with my head up my arse fo the last few months. How else can I explain the fact that I missed the fact that Suzy now has a blog? It seems that Suzy is determined to swim to the moon which is, without a doubt, the most ambitious goal ever set by one of my friends. Despite certain apparent impracticalities (namely there not being water or air in space), I have no doubt that she'll be successful... Good luck Suzy, but you better send me a postcard once you get there or I'll be miffed...

Song #18

2005-08-12T14:12:00.000+10:00

As Jared has been doing his damnedest to put me to shame, I figured it was about time for me to once again take up the "32 Songs" Challenge.

The decision to do this entry now was influenced more than a little by my recent visit to Newcastle.

Graham's 32 Songs - #18 "Even When I'm Sleeping" By Leonardo's Bride.

"don't be confused by my apparent lack of ceremony, my mind is clear.
i may be low or miles high off in the distance,
i want you near.
i love you
even when i'm sleeping.
when i close my eyes you're everywhere"

In 1989 the city of Stockton (located just outside of Newcastle) was rocked by the rape and murder of a 14 year old school girl named Leigh Leigh. It would be an understatement to say that the incident devastated the community. Senseless and horrifying, the murder of Leigh Leigh, and subsequent trial, remains one of Australia's most memorable murder cases.

Struggling to find a way in which to respond to the incident, Newcastle's Freewheels Theatre Company commissioned one of Australia's most prominent playwrights, Nick Enright, to pen a play which addressed the tragedy. The result was "A Property Of The Clan" a heart-rendering and confronting examination of how a community deals with tragedy, the nature of friendship and the line between morality and loyalty. As a play it was extremely well received and Enright later revised and re-released it under the title "Blackrock." It was under this title that the script was transformed into a movie in 1997.

A year before the release of the movie, in late 1996, one of Canberra's amateur theatre companies, Free Rain, decided to perform "A Property Of The Clan" and I was engaged as the production's lighting and sound designer.

Early in the production process the directorial team and I identified the need for a very special song. One of the play's most prominent characters is a young girl who was a friend of the girl who is murdered. Throughout a number of scenes this character visits her friend's grave and plays, on a portable cassette player, her friend's favourite song. After some discussion, a consensus was reached that the most appropriate song for this scene was the beautiful ballad "Even When I'm Sleeping".

As luck would have it, Leonardo's Bride were playing a gig in Canberra on the weekend after this consensus was reached and so it was decided that as Nickos, Adam (son of the director) and I were intending on attending the gig we should attempt to find out what we'd need to do to secure the rights.

The gig was incredible! Abby Dobson and Dean Manning were amazing and held the audience in the palm of their hand for well over two hours.

At the end of the gig (thanks mostly to the fact that Nick and I were friendly with the bar owner) we managed to wrangle our way backstage and were able to explain to Dean the manner in which we wanted to utilize his song. At the time I was struck by how human and unpretentious both he and Abby Dobson were. This was a real eye-opener for me. Up until this point I'd always had an extremely romanticized image of professional musicians, but here were two of Australia's best just hanging out and chatting with us.

After a bit of explanation Dean announced that the use of the song sounded like a great idea, but he wanted to see a copy of the script first. Adam arranged for a script to be sent and within a few weeks we received a letter which authorized the use of the song and stated that Dean was incredibly touched that we wanted to use it in the context of the play.

As it turned out, we weren't the only ones who thought that "Even When I'm Sleeping" was the most appropriate choice for that scene of the play. A year later when "Blackrock" was released I discovered that the movie's sound designer agreed with us. At a number of moments during the movie (especially during the funeral) "Even When I'm Sleeping" can be heard playing softly in the background.

It's a beautiful song which never fails to tug at my heart-strings, but it also serves the purpose of reminding me that musos are just ordinary people with extraordinary talents...

Let's talk about... Newcastle.

2005-08-11T16:41:00.000+10:00

Due to the almost never-ending computer debacle that I've experienced over the last month, I've been less than thorough when it came to relating tales of the tour that I am currently undertaking. It is my hope to remedy that now with a brief reflection upon my time spent in Newcastle.

For those of you with a limited knowledge of Australia, Newcastle is a coastal town located about two hours drive north of Sydney. It is, in parts, a picturesque city, but one which lives under the shadow of recent hardship.

In 1999 the Newcastle Steelworks closed. It is the single event which has most determined the modern make-up of the city. Up until 1999, Newcastle was a steel-works town and B.H.P was one of the city's biggest employers. With the closing of the steelworks, 4000 people lost their jobs and Newcastle experienced a near fatal blow to its soul.

The evidence of this injury to the cities economy and psyche is everywhere. Many of the shopfronts on Hunter Street (Newcastle's main thoroughfare) have been abandoned and there seems to be an overabundance of pawnbrokers and 2nd-hand retailers. In addition, to the casual observer, Newcastle also boasts an extraordinary high number (by Australian standards) of homeless and destitute individuals.

Now all of that might make the city sound incredibly dire, but Newcastle also seems to be well on the road to recovery, a fact which has probably been heavily influenced by its proximity to Sydney and its plethora of beautiful beaches.

Walking down the main street of Newcastle was a fascinating experience. Midway between the hotel and the theatre I passed a series of shopfronts which, at first glance, appeared to have been converted into squats. The floors were covered in excess building materials, empty pizza boxes blocked the doorways and there was an inordinately high number of brown couches located within. On closer examination, however, it soon became apparent that these shopfronts weren't just squats. Why? Because the walls were covered with interesting art, all of which was for sale.

I'm still not entirely sure what to make of these squats/art galleries, but they certainly added an unexpected element of colour to the main street.

In addition to this propensity for squatters to become artists (or have I got it wrong? Should that read "artists to become squatters"?), Newcastle also appears to have a vibrant music culture (I found the number of live music venues to be incredibly encouraging) and a healthy cafe culture (albeit confined to a single strip of Darby street). The pumpkin and sage gnocci that I ate in the "Three Monkeys" cafe would easily rate as one of the most enjoyable meals I've ever experienced.

The most negative aspect of the city was, unfortunately, the venue we performed in. Whilst beautiful to look at, the theatre was suffering from some serious internal politics issues. As a result of certain personality clashes (within their own crew), the majority of the people working for the theatre really didn't want to be there and had no real interest in making our experience easy or enjoyable. This made for an extremely difficult bump in and, as that accounted for four of the seven days I was in Newcastle, greatly coloured my experience of the city. Which is a shame, as I got the impression (when I was anywhere but the venue) that the rest of the residents of Newcastle were extraordinarily lovely and interesting people.

All-in-all my experience of Newcastle was one of contrasts. There were some aspects which I found extremely appealing and others which left me wanting catch the first plane out of town. In the end, however, I was left with the feeling that, despite it not being a town in which I could picture myself settling, I wouldn't mind visiting again.

Cruising for friends...

2005-08-10T00:03:00.000+10:00

As I now have a new computer I thought that it might be time to try a few additional online practices that I have normally avoided like the plague...

One of those practices is online chatting, which I'll now be engaging in thanks to a little program entitled Trillian.

Now I need to stress that it's been years since I've done anything like this, so I'm a little out of touch about how it all works. I do, however, know that I now have an ICQ number and that if I publish it here then some of you will be able to contact me.

So here goes nothing - 238734532

Hopefully that means that the next time I log in I'll be greeted by a flood of messages along the lines of "Hello! Welcome to the future...." If, however, there is something else I'm meant to do, then I'd greatly appreciate any advice/help you all might be able to offer.

Back online v3.01

2005-08-09T16:18:00.000+10:00

So yesterday the ongoing operetta of my faulty new computer saga reached a crescendo. Here's a brief dramatisation of my day -

[phone rings]

Graham: Hello?

Friendly Computer Repair-man: Hello Mr. Henstock. It's the friendly neighborhood computer repair man here. I just wanted to let you know that we can't get the part for your laptop, so you'll have to wait until September 1st to get it back.

Graham: WHAT? That's totally unacceptable...

Friendly Computer Repair-man: Well... You could try calling Toshiba and seeing if they can find an alternative...

[two hours of phonecalls, several CDs of hold music and thousands of dollars worth of dental damage done by grinding teeth, later...]

Toshiba "Customer Relations Girl": Yes sir, I agree it's unacceptable. I'm happy to authorize a replacement computer for you, but as you purchased it from David Jones in Canberra you will need to arrange for them to take delivery.

[another phone call and some more hold music later]

David Jones "Sydney store computer dude": Well sir, according to our policy you're meant to take it back to the place of purchase, but as I can sense the irritation in your voice I'm sure we can come to an arrangement... I'll just need to confirm with Toshiba that the replacement is authorized, so if you could just give them a call and arrange for them to send you a letter and then... What's that sir? You've got the direct number for Toshiba's "Customer Relations Girl"? Oh, and I should call her and sort out the paperwork? Ummm... I guess I can do that...

[phone rings 15 minutes later]

David Jones "Sydney store computer dude": I've just had a chat to Toshiba and they've authorized the exchange, so if you could just bring the computer in here and... Oh... What's that? Oh, of course you can call me back...

[another phone call made by me... this time to the direct line]

Toshiba "Customer Relations Girl": Please calm down sir... I agree that you shouldn't have to be doing so much running around... Yes... Okay then... I'll arrange for a courier to pick-up the computer from the repair shop and deliver it to David Jones... Anything to make you stop calling me...

[phone rings 15 minutes later]

David Jones "Sydney store computer dude": Mr. Henstock, I've just received a call from Toshiba and they've authorized me to just give you a new computer... Apparently they've arranged for a courier to pick up the old one...What did you say to them? They don't normally do that...

So the upshot of my hours spent engaging in lengthy phone conversations whilst practicing my best "threatening tones (tm)" is that this morning I was given a whole new computer and so am now back online and able to sort through the mountain of email which is awaiting...

Let's hope that this time I'm here to stay...

Time to become a luddite...

2005-08-07T11:28:00.000+10:00

I hate technology.

No seriously, I hate it. With a passion.

Within days of getting my shiny new Toshiba laptop home it started playing up. An annoying event at the best of times, but when you're on tour it just becomes that much worse.

After some calling around I finally located an authorized Toshiba repair place which was at least vaguely near the theatre and checked my new purchase in for it's 100m check-up.

Apparently the motherboard is faulty... Oh... And the CD/DVD drive too... Don't worry sir, we'll have the parts in about a week and a half... Oh... What's that? You're only in Sydney for two weeks? Oh, we should be able to have it fixed by then... Yes sir, I'm well aware that means that we'll have spent more time fixing your computer than you have actually had it in your possession... Sorry about that, but this should fix the problem and you should have no hassles after that... Unless, of course, the motherboard isn't actually the problem...

I hate technology!

Maybe it's time for me to buy a luddite computer...

Unfinished Stories.

2005-07-30T16:59:00.000+10:00

I know it's been over a month since I promised you a second tale of my recent encounters with Australia's societal underbelly, but never let it be said that I don't fulfill my promises... Eventually...

Before you read on, I must confess that, when compared to my first tale, this next account may appear somewhat anticlimactic and banal, but decidedly more sinister.

Two days prior to the King Lear bump-in, Kerry (my boss), Spencer (one of MTC's mechs) and I (the writer of this blog) were making an early evening delivery of gear to the CUB Malthouse (the venue into which we were putting "King Lear") when we had an extremely sinister encounter.

It was about 6pm on a Friday evening and we were driving the company's 4-ton truck through the inner-city suburb of South Melbourne when we noticed that something strange was happening on the side of the road.

As we passed a parked car, the situation became more apparent. A young man who looked to be in his early twenties was lying on the road behind a parked car. He appeared to be convulsing uncontrollably.

Naturally we assumed that he was in the midst of an epileptic fit and so stopped the truck. As we went to his assistance, however, something strange happened - He looked at us, stood up and signaled that we should leave. As we were obviously still quite concerned, we continued to approach him whilst saying things like "Are you okay?" and "Do you want us to call you an ambulance?"

He kept assuring us that he was okay, but as we got a little closer we all noticed something that made the encounter much more sinister. Hiding behind the car, crouched in the shadows, was another young man (also in his early twenties) who seemed quite alarmed that we'd spotted him. He emerged from his hiding place and gestured towards his friend, "He's okay. He was just playing a joke on me." To describe this second individual as "dodgy-looking" or "rough" would require a gross understatement.

If we'd thought that the situation was mostly apparent before, it had now taken a turn into the abundantly clear and disturbing.

As Kerry, Spencer and I left the area, we discussed the situation and discovered that we had all come to the same conclusion. It seemed, to us, that the first individual was faking his fit so that the second individual could jump anybody who stopped to assist. Unfortunately (or, perhaps, fortunately) they hadn't considered the possibility that three blokes in a truck might be the ones to stop.

This encounter shook me up for quite a number of days afterward. Not just because of the apparent sinister intent, but because it occurred at 6pm, on a street that I frequent on a regular basis and, most of all, because I know that if, in the future, I see anybody having a fit again I might be tempted not to stop.

People who prey on other people's good nature deserve their own special corner of hell...

I can hear Naomi Klein screaming from here...

2005-07-30T09:30:00.000+10:00

Which means that she has probably just read this article...

Seriously though, the Spider Jerusalem approach of retreating to a mountain and surrounding yourself with razor-wire and "Trespassers will be eviscerated" signs whilst you type out daily dispatches from the wilderness is starting to sound a whole lot more appealing.

Back online!

2005-07-29T14:35:00.000+10:00

At last!

Two unintentional hiatuses in two months... Coincidence? Or just plain unforgivable? Either way, this time I'm back for the duration.

Since my last major post, I have been blindsided by work and computer troubles.

Four weeks ago I started the bump-in for MTC's "Gangster-chic" version of "King Lear" (which just, by the way, happens to be my favourite Shakespearean play). As my boss was on two weeks leave, it fell to me to get the beastie up and running. "King Lear" is, without a doubt, MTC's biggest show of the year, so it should come as no surprise that I clocked up more than 150 hours worth of work during the two week bump-in. It almost killed me, but I have to confess that the achievement of making it rain on-stage for thirty minutes of the play was remarkably satisfying... Thirty minutes of a storm with actual storm-like rain on stage? Now there's something you don't see in every theatre show.

Understandably, my focus during the "Lear" bump-in was work and sleep. As a result, my online presence became next to nothing.

Two days after "Lear" opened, I was on a plane to Sydney to collect "Two Brothers" from the Opera House. As I write this, I am currently sitting in my hotel room in sunny Newcastle, "Two Brothers" has already opened here and I am enjoying what is only my second day off in about a month. After Sydney and before this stint in Newcastle, "Two Brothers" did a two week run in Canberra. Which was a heap of fun, very tiring and mostly involved me trying to catch up with everybody and anybody who might have cared to see me.

With such an insane schedule, all thoughts of blogging were pushed from my mind.

To further complicate matters, my laptop decided, whilst I was in Canberra, that it was ready to go to the great electronics junk-heap in the sky. As a result, I am now the proud owner of a brand new lap-top and have only managed to get back online as of today.

But back online I am and I've certainly got a lot of things I want to tell you. So stay tuned for a lot more from the world of Graham over the next few days...

Unless, of course, another hiatus decides to hit. In which case, you can expect another post like this one in about a month's time...

Thinking of my friends...

2005-07-07T22:10:00.000+10:00

Despite the fact that my television is showing me images of double-decker buses blown to pieces, and speculating that there may be a massive loss of life, I find that my thoughts are only of my friends.

Cynan, Suzy and Sam, I hope you're all okay and far away from the news...

Rubbing society's underbelly...

2005-06-25T14:47:00.000+10:00

In way of explanation of a number of the points listed in my recent post, and just in the interest of relating a few of the interesting things I've witnessed, I'd like now to tell you about some of my recent encounters with the darker side of Australian society.

About five weeks ago, at the very start of the "missing month", MTC sent me to Sydney for a week to do the bump-in of "Two Brothers". All-in-all, the trip went remarkably smoothly, although it did get off to a relatively surreal start.

Due to a desire to "cost-cut", as well as a decidedly sadistic bent, MTC determined that the best way for me to get to Sydney would be via a 6am flight on a Sunday. This meant that I was out of bed at 4.30am and standing on the street, waiting for a taxi, by 5am.

When my taxi arrived I was surprised to discover that it was a Maxi-taxi, a van which can seat up to 11 passengers. This was just the luck of the draw, but definitely constituted "overkill" when you consider that there was only my two bags, my half closed eyes and my tired body needing to get to the airport.

The friendly taxi driver assisted me in getting my bags into the back seat and then suggested that I should sit up front with him.

We'd barely gone one hundred meters down the road when he turned to me and asked a question that I certainly wasn't expecting at 5.10am on a Sunday morning - "Excuse me mate, but do you know what marijuana looks like?"

Acutely aware of my stunned expression, the fact that there are cameras installed in taxis, my reputation and the laws of entrapment, I cautiously responded - "Why?"

"Well mate," he exclaimed, "it's like this - My last customer, as he was getting out the cab, said "excuse me buddy, but it looks like someone's left their bag here" and handed me this bag."

My driver then pulled a smallish black backpack out from beneath his seat.

"Now I don't know which of tonight's fares left it there," he assured me, "but when I opened it up, to check if there was any identification so I could return it, I found this."

My taxi-driver then, with one eye on the road and one on the bag which now sat between us, opened the back-pack and pulled out a large plastic bag which was filled with marijuana. Now when I say large, I mean large. The plastic bag would have been at least 30cm x 20cm x 10cm and was almost bursting from the amount of dope which was inside.

As the airport loomed closer, visions of Schapelle Corby filled my mind.

"So I've reported to my HQ that I've found a small black backpack, but I haven't told them what's in it. Do you think that the owner might call looking for it?" He asked me.

"No mate, I really don't think they'll call. In fact, I suspect that someone is currently at home crying about the fact that they won't be making that call..."

"Well what should I do with it?" He asks and I almost flinch with the realisation that I could potentially get dragged into this.

"Ah... Sorry mate, I really can't help you with that one..." I reply.

"Do you want it?" He asks. "You could just have it for free... That way I wouldn't have to worry about it."

Now I've got to admit that I know people who smoke marijuana and who would have given me their first born child if I had said "yes", but as the departure lounge was just around the corner, and the day's newspapers were adorned with pictures of a certain blonde eyed beautician, I politely declined his offer.

"Oh well... Them's the breaks..." He exclaimed and shoved the bag of dope back into the back-pack.

After shaking my head at the surreal nature of the encounter, and checking my bags to make sure that the taxi driver had put the marijuana back into the right one, I boarded a flight to Sydney and touched down just before 8am. From there I took my second taxi for the day, straight to my accommodation in the centre of Sydney's Kings Cross district.

For those of you who do not reside in Australia, King's Cross is Australia's equivalent of Sodom and Gomorrah. Strip clubs, hookers, smack addicts and violent police are just a few of the things which have made King's Cross a tourist destination... And, apparently, an appropriate location for accommodating touring theatre technicians.

The delightful nature of King's Cross was immediately brought home as I stepped out of my taxi just down the street from my hotel. My being loaded up with two bags, a lap-top, a plans tube and a backpack, didn't discourage the stripclub spruikers from insisting, at 8.30am on a Sunday morning, that I should "Come inside and check out the best tits in Australia." For the second time in three hours I politely declined an offer to indulge in decadence.

The next week of living in the heart of King's Cross exposed me to a range of sights and sounds which were educational, to say the least, but nothing matched the surreal feel of that first day.

Since then, however, I have had another close encounter with the underbelly of Australia's society, one which was decidedly more sinister, but as I am a sucker for the "cliff-hanger" (only because I know it pisses Tript off) and because I have run out of time today in which to blog, you'll have to wait until next time to hear that installment.

Rhetorical...

2005-06-22T07:31:00.000+10:00

How is it that, despite resetting my alarm clock to give me "mmmm... just twenty more minutes sleep..." on four separate occasions, I kept waking up feeling more tired than the time before?

If you need me, I'll be the one dozing in the corner...

Just another twenty minutes... I swear, that's all I need... Come on buddy, can't you spare twenty minutes...

Powers of Persuasion...

2005-06-19T22:00:00.000+10:00

Listen up all you Canberrites and ex-territorians!

For the last few years I have attempted, without much success, to persuade you to come and check out Earthcore.

Well after seeing this year's line-up, I suspect that my level of persuasive power have just received a much needed boost.

DJ sets from the Propellerheads, Perry Farrell, and Phil Hartnoll (ex-Orbital) ?

Live performances by Regurgitator and the Future Sound of London's psychedelic band?

Tons more acts yet to be announced?

How much more persuading do you need?

Am I the only one who's more than a little excited?

Conspiracy or Bureaucracy?

2005-06-17T07:10:00.000+10:00

Everyman and his goldfish has, by now, written something about the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks in America.

The publicity surrounding the attacks has meant not only that you'd have to have been living in a cave for the last five years to be unaware of the event (although there are some cave dwellers who were apparently well aware), but that there is the equivalent of a small library of books, ranging from the subtle and intelligent to the bizarre and obscene, which have been written on the subject.

Due mostly to the fact that I was working for the ABC in Canberra at the time, the echoes of September 11, 2001 have reverberated through my mind for many years and, as a result, I have read more than a few books on the subject.

Unfortunately, bizarre conspiracy theories run rampant throughout many of these books and those tomes which resist the urge to descend into mumblings about CIA plots and aliens in The White House often reveal nothing that wasn't available in the newspapers at the time.

So it was with some trepidation that I started reading "Ghost Wars - The secret history of the CIA, Afghanistan and Bin Laden, from the Soviet invasion to September 10, 2001." A weighty publication authored by Steve Coll.

Now don't worry, I'm not about to have a scientology moment in which I read one book and yell "Eureaka, now I understand everything", but I will say that Mr. Coll's book is one of the most fascinating that I have read on this subject.

In an extremely readable, thorough and methodical manner, Steve Coll lays out such a detailed history of the Afghanistan region that by the end the terrorist attacks themselves are not only unsurprising but suspiciously inevitable.

The most interesting aspect of his book, however, is its complete lack of conspiracy theories. Steve Coll depicts successive American Governments which are slow to act, slow to change and slow to comprehend the challenge facing them (some of which, admittedly, is of their own making), not due to any real form of incompetence, maliciousness or ill-intent, but due to the fact that the world's most powerful nation also has one of the world's most convoluted and complex bureaucracies.

An example of this point is that, despite the fact that the FBI seized hundred of pages, written in Arabic, from the home of the terrorist responsible for the first attack on the World Trade Center (in 1993), the bureaucracy within the organization meant that it took them almost two years to translate those documents. Once they had translated them, however, and realized that they referred to activities occurring overseas, the FBI had no process with which to inform the CIA of their discovery. At the time, the FBI was only responsible for legal matters within America, not national security threats originating from other countries and, thus, since it was never envisioned that the two organizations may need to communicate, they never passed on their findings.

So what do you do when Bureaucracy runs riot? Well generally you create more bureaucracy in an attempt to manage the bureaucracy you already have... Catch 22, anyone?

"Ghost Wars" is a fascinating book which I whole heartedly recommend to anyone who has even a passing interest in the September 11 terrorist attacks. Don't go looking for conspiracy theories, though, as you're not going to find them within this publication's pages. What you will find, instead, is a thought-provoking, detailed account of how and why America's foreign policy decisions, generally made with the best of intentions, led to a number of horrific events occurring during September 2001.

Ouch!

2005-06-15T07:45:00.000+10:00

Just as I have recently been absent from the blogging community, my work commitments have also caused me to be absent from my Aikido classes...

Last night was my second night back.

Ouch!

No really, OUCH!

Still, I've taken some vague comfort from the fact that I didn't entirely embarrass myself. I might be extremely sore today, but I was still managing to mix it up quite successfully with belts of my level last night...

Now, once I figure out how to get my legs to move, it's time for me to drag myself to work...

Hiatus Endus...

2005-06-13T15:34:00.000+10:00

It's been over a month since my last post and the first thing I want to do now that I have returned is say thanks to those of you who I know noticed I was missing... Which means that I only want to say thanks to the two of you who took the time to send me an email.

Which reminds me, Cyzilla and Teigan, I have received your emails and will respond within the next few days.

Where have I been? Not far, just busy.

I will, over the next few posts, go into a little bit more detail, but in the meantime I thought I'd tease you all with some snippets of what I've been up to.

During the last month I have -

* Been winked at by a penguin.

* Been surrounded by more bats than Batman.

* Fought my way through thousands of Jedi.

* Been in the presence of thousands of dollars worth of marijuana.

* Devoted in excess of twenty hours to making it rain.

* Watched a Chaos Butterfly pounce.

* Conquered Europe.

* Achieved a greater understanding of America's foreign policy.

* Scrounged for food.

* Been invited to see the "best tits in Australia".

* Discovered the pleasures of unicorns.

* Been accused of trying to take an explosive device aboard a plane.

.... And much, much more....

Will I reveal all? Only time will tell.

In the interim, however, it may be safer to believe that my recent blogging hiatus was merely another attempt to make myself more like Jared. Welcome back Jar, you were gone too long!

Sarah Connor?

2005-05-12T21:17:00.000+10:00

Okay then, I've seen the movie, I've played the computer game, I've read the book and I sure as hell know how this ends...

Just remember, the dogs know they're not human...

Tonight my inner geek is weeping...

2005-05-09T21:16:00.000+10:00

My inherent geekiness is one of the world's worst kept secrets.

I'm a Star Wars fan, Star Trek fan, Doctor Who fan, X-files fan, Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, Angel fan, Vampire the Masquerade fan, Lord of the Rings fan and Comic book fan... And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Taking that into consideration, my little geek heart was devastated today when I had to turn down a dream gig.

My reasons for turning down the gig were remarkably adult. The tour, offered to me today, was only two and a half weeks long, whereas the tour it clashed with is around ten weeks long, so basic economic reality won out in the end.

It was, however, a hard fought battle.

Today I was offered a two and half week tour, as a lighting guy, traveling around the country with a show which will include the four remaining living actors who have played Doctor Who... and I turned it down...

...My inner geek may never forgive me...

That's a first...

2005-05-08T09:33:00.000+10:00

I have just woken up from my first ever Neurocam-themed nightmare...

...creepy...

I guess that'll teach me not to do any masked web surfing before bedtime...

So today...

2005-05-07T17:17:00.000+10:00

... I bought a book.

Whilst I was in Melbourne's foremost alternate bookstore, I noticed a little white book which had no name and no explanatory information anywhere on the cover.

It is smaller than an average book, checks in at a meager 200 pages and cost less that six dollars.

Inside the book there was a small white card which reads -

MANIFESTO is an anonymous novel

dedrabbit International Artist Collectives is an underground network of people committed to art, individual freedom and social activism

consider yourself affiliated

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE GOVERNMENT - BE THE GOVERNMENT

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE MEDIA - BE THE MEDIA

www.geocities.com/dedrabbit

Needless to say, my interest was piqued so I bought the book.

It's next on my list of books to read. Once I've read it I'll revisit this subject and let you know what I thought...

Just because it's been bothering me...

2005-05-06T19:45:00.000+10:00

... and entirely because I'm a sucker for semantics.

I just wanted to clear something up...

Now before I say this it is important to note that despite my concerns (stated here in the past) about the reasons why Australia joined America in the invasion of Iraq, and despite my general anti-violence stance, I don't believe that Australia should draw its troops out of Iraq purely because an Australian citizen has been taken hostage. In fact, I strongly agree that giving in to hostage takers and blackmailers, in this instance, is a very bad idea.

That having been said, however, I have, over the last few days, heard politicians say ad nauseum that they are "doing everything within our power to see that Douglas Wood is released" and it's been bothering me because it is simply not true.

Why? Because they could always just pull the troops out of Iraq.

Now I know that I'm getting hung up on semantics, but let's just be clear - Just because there is something that you are not prepared to do doesn't mean that you can't do it.

Not that I'm saying that they should pull the troops out, just that they should stop trying to play down what is already an extremely ugly situation.

What is happening to the world?

2005-05-04T22:22:00.000+10:00

I've just experienced a day in which I've been alarmed, bewildered, delighted and depressed.

I was alarmed to discover that the conservative right in America has determined that the greatest threat to American values is the humble tradition of cheerleading. This act alone may spell the end of the American soft-porn industry...

I was bewildered to discover that I wasn't the only one who thought that George Orwell's "1984" would be much more palatable if it'd included a bit of singing and dancing.

I was delighted to discover that Stephen Mayne, of Crikey fame, has scored a gig filling in for John Faine on 774's politically charged morning show... One thing's for sure, it's bound to be a fascinating few days of radio.

And lastly, as a frustrated left-leaning political thinker, I was depressed to discover that I at least partially agree with right-wing ramble rouser Andrew Bolt... Worse still, I partially agree with his assessment of one of MTC's latest plays.

I sat backstage for "Two Brothers" today and was surprised by the complete lack of subtlety in its script. Ridiculously blunt attacks on individuals, which report to discuss important issues but in fact barely mention them except in passing, do more damage to a cause than good.

Whilst I suspect that Andrew Bolt and I were unimpressed with the play's approach for entirely different reasons, I suspect that this play will have achieved little more than to galvanize the right, whereas a slightly more subtle approach (which could have retained the humour and actually addressed the issues at hand) may have served the purpose of causing the right to re-examine their position... Any day I find myself siding with Andrew Bolt is a dark day in my books...

Still, the performances and look of the play were fantastic, it's just its lack of subtlety which I found concerning... If we want to change opinions, we're going to need to be cleverer than that...

This has to be a hoax...

2005-05-02T17:02:00.000+10:00

...right?

Surely there's no such things as Zombies... right?

Oh well.... At least it'll make Euan happy...

...Dancing the blues away...

2005-04-30T10:41:00.000+10:00

...and inviting the flu to stay...

On more than one occasion I have been reliably informed that dancing is good for the soul. Be that as it may, I am now ably positioned to inform you that dancing is not necessarily good for the body.

As you may be aware, for the last week or so I have been the host of a battle between my immune system and the 2005 flu. My immune system has been putting in a valiant effort and appeared to be gaining the upper hand, until, in an act akin to treachery, I overruled my immune system and declared that I was going to last night's Cat Empire gig.

At the time my logic seemed sound, The Cat Empire are amazing, I was feeling better and the tickets were bought before I got sick, so how could I not go?

Now it may come as no surprise to you that The Cat Empire were simply amazing. It also may come as no surprise that this morning I feel like death warmed over.

My immune system has retreated in the face of the flu's retaliatory strike (which took the form of brisk Melbourne night and a little bit of jumping around) and I now feel that quivering in a corner is the most attractive option left open to me.

Add to that the fact that today is the last performance of "Weary" (in this season, we're relaunching in three weeks) , which means that I'll be loading equipment onto a truck until around 3 or 4am tomorrow morning, and suddenly it seems like the flu has been given a ticker-tape parade welcoming it back into my head, lungs and chest...

Now I'm sure there's a lesson in that somewhere, so, if anybody figures it out, please call me at the hospital and let me know what it is...

Robert Henley Located Pt2

2005-04-26T23:36:00.000+10:00

In a recent post I claimed that I had, by process of astute deduction, located the missing Robert Henley and that he was alive, well and working in the commercial sector.

Well now I have found further evidence to support my theory... Check out this article and see if you agree.

Ill humour...

2005-04-26T23:24:00.000+10:00

I'm feeling a little better today, but only a little. The flu is still kicking me around in a pretty nasty way.

With that in mind, I find that I am unsure whether my following indulgence of schadenfreude is the result of my disturbed mind or my ill health, so let's just agree in advance - If you find the following offensive, blame it on my ill health... Deal?

My day was made considerably more enjoyable due to another man's misfortune. Still, I suspect that he only has himself to blame. After all, surely a man with a lisp knows better than to go up to a bar and order "six Stellas please"... I could have laughed for hours...

And whilst we're on the subject, and even though I sure I'm not the first person to make the observation, what sort of a sadist was the person who decided that the word for describing a speech impediment, in which a individual can not pronounce the letter "s", should include the letter "s"?

Truck identified...

2005-04-25T22:20:00.000+10:00

In my last post I asked if anybody had noted the number of the truck which had wiped me out, well now I know the answer.

Its number plate is FLU-2005.

I've felt like crap for the last few days and woken up each morning feeling that little bit worse.

Still, it's not all bad. The two days house-bound have allowed me watch a fair bit of The West Wing. Which is, simply put, an amazing feat of television scripting... if only the real white house had politicians who were half as articulate.

I've also spent a bit of time surfing the web and was delighted to discover that, in a moment which boarders on the ridiculous, Paul was able to enter another country with a visa which had been WHITE OUTED OVER AND CORRECTED IN PEN.

It's nice to know that some countries still aren't particularly fussy about who they let in...

That's enough writing for now... It's time to go back to feeling sorry for myself and coughing in the corner...

Did someone get the number of that truck?

2005-04-22T14:01:00.000+10:00

I'm feeling more than a little weary (pun intended).

"Weary" (the show, as opposed to the state of mind) opened last night in Melbourne.

The production week was one of the most difficult I've experienced so far, a fact which was intensified by the difficulties inherent in the venue (which is under-maintained and under-staffer) and the apparent inability of some of the company's office staff to finish basic tasks that are assigned to them.

Tues last week- "You just need to contact the hire company and arrange payment, otherwise they won't deliver the gear." "No problems. I'll get right on it"

Thurs last week- "Ummm... Why haven't you contacted the hire company? I'm getting a little nervous and the hire company is too?" "Oh! I'll do it now."

Monday morning - "I'm standing here with five crew who are costing you $20 per hour each and we've got nothing to do because YOU HAVEN'T CONTACTED THE HIRE COMPANY AND ARRANGED PAYMENT!"

Despite these few problems, the show opened well last night and the audience appears to love it.
I, on the other hand, feel like I've been run over by a road-train... Still, a few days rest and relaxation should cure that...

In other news, I received an card in the mail from Paul this week in which he chastised me for not linking to his blog. He is, of course, quite right to be annoyed. I've been meaning to update my side-bar for quite some time now, but needed the right incentive to do so.

Paul, I'm sorry for my slackness. I promise that your link will be there before the day is out...

Tour Diary - Days 25-30 - Adelaide.

2005-04-17T18:34:00.000+10:00

Last night was the final night of the show in Adelaide and I’ve just arrived back in Melbourne.

All-in-all the Adelaide experience was simply fantastic. There were many notable highlights, including; a half hour long conversation with a 70 year old gentleman about the various venereal diseases he has contracted over the years; having an inebriated gentlemen take a swing at me on Hindley Street, miss and then keep walking; the always amazing Kangaroo fillet and egg noodles at the Red Rock Café; finding Sharn two very cool birthday gifts (some girls like diamonds, but mine likes opals and bad taste bears); the purchasing of a number of incredible CDs (especially The Doves “Some Cities”, Ben Folds “Songs for Silverman” and DJ Trip “Recyclise”); the purchasing of a few good books; the discovery that Borders, whilst evil, serves some of the biggest coffees in the known world; and gelati from Alfresco’s (which, if you’ve been to Adelaide, you will understand).

The real highlight of being in Adelaide, however, was catching up with my dear friends Leah, Sharon and, the newly now counted as a dear friend, Adam.

Leah and Sharon both share a very special corner of my heart. I first met Leah in 2002 whilst I was at the Adelaide Festival. Leah was working the Fringe and fate threw us together one night when we both were up for a bit of a rage and so went to see The Bird perform. At the time I had only met Leah once before, but had decided that she seemed pretty cool. In essence, Leah is a petite hippy chick who has a habit of spontaneously bursting into operatic verse, which is a habit which appeals to my less than completely philistine soul.

At one point, at around 2am, I looked out into the courtyard below the Fringe club (where the Bird were performing) and noticed that there was game of hacky-sack in progress. Never one to shy away from a chance to kick a small bag of beads into the air, I headed on down to join in. An hour later I returned to the club.

One of the hacky-sack players was Sharon, whom I had played hacky-sack with the night before at the Spiegeltent. Sharon can only be described as a “Hacky-sack God”.

After I went back upstairs, I introduced Leah to Sharon. They got on like a house on fire. A week later I left Adelaide and returned to Melbourne and a year later Sharon married Leah’s brother Adam.

Despite only having spent a grand total of about a week actually in the company of these two girls, they are, with a doubt, two of my favourite people on the face of this planet. I feel deeply connected to them and incredibly sentimental whenever I’m in their company.

Catching up with them last week was absolutely wonderful and hopefully it won’t be another two and a half years before I see them again.

Tomorrow we begin the Melbourne bump in of “Weary”, the concept of which is filling me with a vague dread… Hopefully I’m just being a tad melodramatic and everything will work out fine, but I suspect that the next few days are going to be rather difficult.

I think I hear the walking dude...

2005-04-14T08:53:00.000+10:00

One of my favourite book as a teenager was Stephen King's "The Stand".

A modern parable about the dangers of playing with germs and the devil, this book excited and terrified me every time I read it.

It's been a decade since I last read it, but this disturbing article has brought it all flooding back.

Hmmmm... Looks like its time to go to Vegas...

Dreams of being a rock god...

2005-04-12T08:22:00.000+10:00

So, am I the only one who have just awoken from an incredibly complex dream in which he was a falsetto-voiced, leather pants wearing, constantly chafed rock god?

Yes?

I thought so...

Tour Diary - Day 24 - Adelaide

2005-04-11T23:27:00.000+10:00

We're only one day into the bump in and already Adelaide is looking odds on favorite to be the most enjoyable leg of the tour.

Now that has nothing (alright, very little) to do with the fact that Ive just taken advantage of the fact that my hotel room/apartment has a spa and am currently in the process of listening to Groove Armadas Another Late Night offering, but everything to do with the fact that I am about four hours ahead of schedule (which, as anyone who works in theatre will be able to attest, is a very rare occurrence).

Tomorrow looks like being quite a relaxing day.

As I sit here on my balcony, I am currently being quietly amused by the building next door.

Across a Jackie Chan could jump it lane way is an inner-city car park. The roof of the car park is about five floors up, which makes it about five floors lower than my balcony.

As I find myself staring at it, I cant help but notice that, despite the apparent lack of access to the roof and the complete absence of any other tall buildings near by, the top of the car park is covered in junk. Junk which I can only assume has been thrown from the apartment block I am sitting in.

Looking down I can see

1 x Yellow Pages Phone Directory;
1 x Pink frilly womens underwear (soiled);
1 x Thong;
1 x Converse sneaker;
1 x Mills & Boon Romance Novel;
2 x Empty bottle of Coke;
and 1 x Empty bottle of Sprite.

Hmmmm I wonder how all of these things could fit together. Anybody feel like hazarding a guess?

Tour Diary - Day 23 - Melbourne to Adelaide

2005-04-10T23:13:00.000+10:00

Following a brief break in Melbourne (and, in my, case Canberra) the time has arrived for us to once again head out on the road with the “Weary Dunlop Road Show”.

This time the destination is Adelaide.

Horror author Stephen King once described Adelaide as “the perfect setting for a horror film”. Now whilst I can understand the origins of his statement (there are, after all, a large number of decidedly “spooky” locations in Adelaide), I feel that I am forced to disagree with him.

In stark contrast to John Safran and three quarters of all Australians, I am quite fond of Adelaide and always get a kick out of visiting it.

One reason for this affection is that, in my experience, Adelaide is much more supportive of all things artistic. There are some amazingly art galleries here, some incredible theatres, a number of very impressive book shops and, most importantly, some of the most kick-arse record stores in the country.

I’m not kidding when I say that Adelaide has the most musically educated population that I’ve encountered in all of Australia. That fact may be heavily influenced by the yearly WOMADelaide concerts and the bi-annual Fringe Festival, but, whatever the reason, the end result is a city of such eclectic music vendors that it leaves Sydney and Melbourne to shame.

A lot of my spare time this week will be spent browsing through CD bins…

Another bonus for Adelaide, although one which was slightly unexpected, is the high quality of the accommodation we have been booked into.

The accommodation in Launceston and Hobart left a lot to be desired, so it’s lovely to be put up in a beautiful serviced apartment on the 10th floor of a hotel in the middle of the CBD. Admittedly, we are in the slight “sleazy” end of town, but I think that being nestled in between a number of strip clubs and the offices of the Adelaide Symphony Orchestra adds a little much needed flair to our tour experience.

Tomorrow is the first day of bump in, so, for now, its time for me to get an earlier night. I am, however, sure that I’ll have a lot to say about Adelaide over the next week. It is, after all, one of my Australian cities…

Just don’t tell anybody I said that, okay? I’d hate for news of my Adelaide affection to result in my sense of taste to be called into question…

A question for the Americans amongst you...

2005-04-09T09:27:00.000+10:00

You'd think that, by now, I would have learnt to be careful when surfing the internet.

After all, there's all sorts of disturbing, subversive and pornographic things out there which my innocent eyes might stumble upon.

I thought, however, that clicking on a link provided by my trusted friend Cyzilla would be a fairly safe option...

Well, he's now a trusted friend no longer... I'm still twitching after this experience.

So my question for those of you who are reading this blog from within the United States of America is - Does it make you twitch too, or does it stir your patriotic hearts?

A question of theology...

2005-04-09T00:49:00.000+10:00

I recently posed this question in an e-mail to Cyzilla, but I thought it was worth including here as well.

Is choosing to watch the "John Safran vs God" DVD instead of the Pope's funeral merely a cynical display of inspired blasphemy or an evolved form of entertainment-driven theological consumption?

I'll let you decide.

Robert Henley located.

2005-04-08T07:19:00.000+10:00

When Neurocam's illusive Robert Henley disappeared from public life, the accusations and theories ran riot. Was he reassigned to Brussels? Did he attend a Fiat Nox BBQ? Was he turned into Tepanyaki by Iocus Severus? Or did he just decide that it was time for a holiday?

Now the truth can be told!

After a massive investigation, and the clicking on a random link or two, I believe I have located Robert Henley.

He is working for Sony... Or, at least, that's what this article leads me to believe...

It's always a little unnerving when fiction and fact collide...

Busy With Brotherly Politics...

2005-04-07T22:01:00.000+10:00

It's not that I don't love you all, it's just that I've been a little preoccupied...

This week I've been incredibly busy with the bump in of MTC's latest production "Two Brothers". 65 hours of work in 4 days doesn't leave much time for anything else besides sleeping, so you'll have to excuse the enforced lack of blogging.

Based upon the Costello Brothers , "Two Brothers" is a comic drama which centres around two brothers who have dramatically different political beliefs. Throw in some asylum seekers, some drug taking rich kids and a parliamentary sex scandal, and the stage is set for an often funny, but politically pointed night of theatre.

When I haven't been rigging, focusing and automating theatre technology, I've been engaging in a little political edification. I'm about half way through "God Under Howard" by Marion Maddock which is an incredibly fascinating read... Do you know how many of our politicians attend daily prayer meetings before heading off to run the country? The answer may surprise you.

In addition to the ongoing intake of political infotainment, I have also been absorbing a little bit of Darko-technotainment in the form of this amazing mix I found on MixDepot... Hmmmm... Tangential beats rock my alternate universe...

Mix Depot.

2005-04-02T20:41:00.000+10:00

This one's only for those of you with access to broadband.

Although I am firmly of the opinion that everybody should support an artist by buying their CDs rather than merely file sharing on the internet, that doesn't stop me from being an avid downloader of DJ sets. My logic dictates that most sets are available through no other means, will only get a listen or two and that some of them are just too good to miss.

Due to this internal justification, the website Hybridized has long been a favourite haunt of mine and has lead to a massive amount finding its way to my hard-drive.

Now, however, the minds behind Hybridized have out-done themselves.

MixDepot is a brand new site where DJs from around the globe make their sets available for those of us who are addicted to downloading. It's got tons of amazing sets from DJs you've probably never heard of.

I only started checking it out a few hours ago and I'm sure that my internet provider will already be wondering why there's been such a drastic spike in the amount of traffic.

Is there copyright issues at stake? Probably, but at least my mum will be happy that I'm not downloading porn...

Mulled wine and a five day growth.

2005-04-02T18:03:00.000+10:00

If you've been hanging around these parts lately you may have noticed a distinct lack of blogging over the last week and half. The main reason for this occurrence is the fact that I had no contact with any computers what-so-ever over the Easter weekend.

Instead of blogging for your entertainment, Sharn and I spent five nights and six days camping at the National Folk Festival in Canberra.

Now I can understand how, if you have never been to this event before, the idea of a folk festival may sound a little alarming, but the fact of the matter is that, over the ten years I've been attending regularly, it's become one of my favourite music events in the country.

Sure, there's an overabundance of banjos, mandolins and tin flutes, men with excessively long beards, unwashed women with tye-dyed dresses and untalented buskers (as well as some extremely talented ones), but all-in-all the National is a weekend of amazing music, company and fun.

How can you not love a festival where you can stumble across, as I did, a group of Tibetan monks playing hacky-sack?

The musical high-lights of this year's festival were, in my opinion, many, but my personal faves were Unified Gecko, a Turkish-funk fusion act from Melbourne, and the O'Hooligans, a Pogues-like act of suitably rowdy demeanor.

Another act of note was Martin Pearson, who delivered a side-splittingly funny parody of The Lord of The Rings. His show "The Unfinished Spelling Errors of Bolkien" will be making an appearance at this year's International Comedy Festival in Melbourne, so if you're a fan of all things Tolkien, are in Melbourne, and find yourself with a spare evening, then I highly recommend that you check it out.

My favourite moment of the festival, however, had nothing at all to do with music. Instead it eventuated when I was standing in the midst of the festival, chatting with my friend Jared (who, for those who aren't aware, is one of the people responsible for the running of the National Folk Festival) when a young lad walked up to us and started talking to Jared.

The young gentlemen in question was dressed in a rather scruffy manner and was wearing a traffic cone on his head. Upon the traffic cone, written in black permanent marker, was a large "D". As the discussion continued, it soon became apparent that the young gentlemen was also in something of a compromised mental state (due, perhaps, to the fact he may have mistaken a certain noxious weed for tobacco) and was, thus, having a great deal of difficultly getting his point across.

It was also immediately apparent to me that Jared had absolutely no idea who this young gentleman was.

After a few minutes of confusion, we managed to establish that the lad knew Jared from the period of his life Jared spent as a school teacher and was, in fact, one of his ex-students. The look on Jared's face was priceless, I could barely control my laughter and the young man seemed delighted to have caught up with one of the people responsible for making him a worthwhile member of society. It was, without a doubt, my most memorable moment of the festival.

Apart from watching Jared in a state of confusion, I also thoroughly enjoyed getting to spend six straight days with Sharn. With my tour schedule and her shift work, it's quite rare for us to get to see each other for more than a few minutes a week, so six days in a tent was almost luxury.

Add to that the mass catch-up with friends on the Saturday night, the fabulous mulled wine and the general festive spirit and the number of mind-boggling good muscians and I 'm sure you can understand why posting on my blog was the furtherest thing from my mind.

Jared, you did a fantastic job of running the festival this year and it was a pleasure to be a part of it... Now I just have to juggle my schedule so I can make sure I'm there next year...

It's Official!

2005-04-01T07:36:00.000+10:00

We are destroying the planet at such a rate that it is entirely likely that we may cause our own extinction.

A little dramatic? You could be forgiven for thinking so, but the UN Millenium Project has just released it's Millenium Ecosystem Assessment and the results are more than a little disturbing.

What amazes me, however, is how little coverage this issue has received beyond the ABC. Try having a look around the websites of Australia's major newspapers and you'll soon discover a complete lack of information. Is our own destruction simply not newsworthy? Or is it merely not entertaining enough?

The second thing which amazes me is that, at least according to this story, the Howard Government has already attacked the report's credibility. Apparently the Federal Environment Minister has "concerns, one that it's not telling us anything new, and two it's not particularly robust." I find it simply astounding that a single POLITICIAN can claim to know better than one thousand three hundred and sixty of the world's leading SCIENTISTS, unless, of course, the Liberal party have developed a manner, or a suitably thick needle, with which to inject scientific knowledge directly into the minds of it's politicians...

Now that is something I would pay to see.

Seriously though, at what point will the sheer number of people screaming "there's something wrong here" compel others to start listening to them? Or is it that the combination of so many voices screaming has resulted in an unbearable din which quickly made them all deaf?

My alarm bells are ringing...

2005-03-23T08:09:00.000+11:00

Lately I've been hearing a lot about the wonders of this product...

At face value it seems like a fantastic idea, but am I the only one who has serious concerns about Microsoft having everybody's fingerprints on record?

Tour Diary - Days 21 & 22 - Gold Coast/Canberra

2005-03-20T21:25:00.000+11:00

Despite a rough start, my recent Gold Coast experience was redeemed via a single encounter yesterday afternoon.

Whilst standing on a bridge, transfixed by a school of mullet and a single squid, I struck up a conversation with an elderly gentlemen (who, for the sake of convenience, we shall refer to as "Bob").

What started as a few quick words soon became an in-depth conversation about the history of the Gold Coast.

"Bob", who was born on the Gold Coast in 1928, explained how there only used to be a handful of fishing families living upon the river. Apparently, according to "Bob", the patriache of the main fishing family was doing extremely well from the fishing industry and so utilized his spoils from the ocean to start expanding the village.

Unfortunately, it turned out that the reason this fisherman's business was so profitable was that he hadn't paid income tax in over 30 years. Inevitably the tax man eventually came knocking and, in a true modern tragedy, the fisherman decided that suicide was a preferable option to a life time in jail. By then, however, his money had already been well invested into the local community and one man's tax fraud provided a massive growth spurt to the Gold Coast.

"Bob" then went on to explain that the man-made canals, which run throughout the Gold Coast, were created to allow for greater fishing access and to make the area more tourist friendly (which, considering my earlier observations about the "non-friendly" nature of the Gold Coast, is quite ironic). Sounds like a great idea, but it was one which was thought at a point prior to a time when the words "environmental" and "impact" had ever been used in the same sentence.

"This area used to be full of seaweed," Bob explained, "but when they built the canals they subtlely changed the natural balance of the original river's ecosystem and all the seaweed died out. No seaweed means no fish. Now the river's mostly full of sharks."

Bob and I continued to chat for another half an hour and covered such subjects as sharks, resorts, tourists and shopping trolleys, at the end of our conversation I bid him farewell and informed him that our chat had made my day. He seemed suitably pleased by that fact.

As I mentioned before, up until that point every local Gold Coastian (except for the theatre staff) that I spoke to seemed to be more than a little bitter, so it was an absolute pleasure to meet a local who was randomly open and friendly.

That single encounter turned my Gold Coast experience around... Just in time for me to leave...

Following an extremely smooth bump out last night and the best night's sleep I've had since I got to Australia's Sodom and Gommorrah, today I awoke, packed and flew to Canberra (via Melbourne).

That flight marked the end of the first section of the "Weary" tour. I now have three weeks off from the show, during which I will be Folk Festivaling and working at MTC. No more "Weary" until we fly to Adelaide in April.

Tour Diary - Days 18, 19 & 20 - Gold Coast

2005-03-18T16:43:00.000+11:00

Since the moment I touched down in Australia’s answer to Las Vegas I’ve felt like I’ve been pushing excrement up a mountain.

For no explainable reason, focusing the show seemed to take twice as long as it has everywhere else (despite the fact that everybody seemed to working twice as hard).

In addition, we then had to deal, yet again, with a slide projector which decided to unionize and go out on strike with the others. Of the five slide projectors we started the tour with (four for the show, one spare) four have now broken down at some point (with only two having being capable of repair), which, all things considered, is the best argument I have heard for spending a little bit (okay, a lot) more money and hiring two data projectors…

Sadly the producers don’t agree with my logic, so it appears that projectors will continue to be the bane of my existence for at least the next few months.

In true “Murphy’s Law” fashion, today, which is the only day that I have off whilst in the Gold Coast, is also the day on which it has decided to start raining. Since our accommodation is miles from the theatre and miles from the shopping/cafe strip, I’ve spent the day catching up on some paper work, watching some DVDs (third season of Millennium) and reading a book.

To tell the truth, although I’d much rather be at the beach, I’m not overly disappointed that I’m stuck indoors. The Gold Coast is a remarkably strange place. It’s incredibly beautiful, yet inherently “touristy”. For such a sunny town (current weather excluded) there seems to be a complete lack of “warmth” here. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that it appears that all of the locals harbor a deep-seated resentment of anybody who just happens to be “passing through”. Is this merely the inherent curse of a tourist destination? Or does it just have to do with my fashion sense?

Hmmm… Maybe I’ll don a Hawaiian shirt and go conduct an experiment…

Deja Vu Packing...

2005-03-15T16:21:00.000+11:00

After a brief respite in Melbourne, I am once again packing my bags and heading off on tour.

Next stop - The sunny Gold Coast!

As much as I'm looking forward to the sun, beaches and bikinis, I am also faced with a dilemma.

Directly after the Gold Coast season, I'll be jetting back to Canberra for a camping Easter at the National Folk Festival (where, if nothing else, I will have a great deal of fun pouring Guinness down the throats of Jared, Nick, Euan and company). So, how exactly does one pack for both the 30+ degree heat of the Gold Coast and the 10 degree nights of Canberra whilst still remaining under Virgin Blue's ridiculous 20kg luggage limit?

Hmmm.... It's a conundrum alright... I think I'll try filling my jumpers with Helium...

Single day faith...

2005-03-13T16:22:00.000+11:00

This weekend Sharn and I drove for two and half hours to a little country town named Yarram, where we attended the wedding of one of Sharn's ex-housemates.

Now although the drive, ceremony and weekend was lovely, there were one thing which struck me as odd.

I find it intensely strange when a couple, who are in no way religious, have a formal religious wedding ceremony.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but a wedding is meant to be an incredibly personal, once-in-a-lifetime (note, I did say "meant to be") event, so why would you conduct it in a fashion which is effectively a lie?

Is it just that most people are uniformed about alternate options? Or could it be that the ceremony is conducted predominately for the benefit of the parents? Do people turn to religion simply because it is the default option?

Whilst no longer religious, I was brought up with a religious education. Which, for the record, is not something I resent. Quite the opposite, in fact, is true. I feel that my religious education gave me a much richer understanding of the context of a wide range of literature, political debate and modern culture. Forgoing faith has not deprived me of those benefits.

During my education, however, it was drummed into me that faith is a remarkably serious issue and, as a result, despite my choice not to believe, I feel that I have a understanding of how serious an issue faith is to those who do believe and, thus, I try not to denigrate them for their faith (in fact there are times when I suspect that I envy it slightly).

So, since I can understand how important faith is to those who do believe, I take issues of religion and faith very seriously (including my lack of said "faith") and I fail to understand why a couple would adopt a faith for a single day simply because it is "the thing to do in the situation".

Does anybody agree with me, or am I hanging out on a limb with no net below me?

Now I'm very aware that I could be opening a can of worms which would be better left closed, but I'm actually remarkably eager to hear a few other opinions on this issue...

So... What do you think?

Home... briefly...

2005-03-11T15:51:00.000+11:00

Following a successful final show in Hobart, we bumped out the set, I wandered back to the hotel at 1am and promptly locked myself out of my room. Luckily I was able, with the assistance of Adam, to track down a "late arrivals" number, which was used to rouse a very bleary eyed attendant.

Yesterday we flew back to Melbourne where the company will be enjoying 5 days off from touring before flying north to the Gold Coast.

I, on the other hand, leave with Sharn tomorrow to go to the wedding of one of her ex-housemates in a little country town two and half hours north of Melbourne.

In the meantime I am taking a moment to wash clothes, answer e-mails and be generally domestic... Which I'm well aware isn't particularly exciting, so, instead of boring you with the details, I'll end this post here.

Interviewing the multi-skilled.

2005-03-09T16:46:00.000+11:00

Despite being ridiculously busy whilst I'm traveling around this luscious island, I recently found time to do another interview/article for In The Mix.

This time the subject of my article was a pair of UK house DJs/producers/record label owners who call themselves the Inland Knights.

I think it went pretty well, but you can judge for yourself by checking out the entire article here.

Tour Diary - Days 15, 16 & 17 - Hobart

2005-03-09T16:30:00.000+11:00

The seafood in Hobart has to be tasted to be believed. Over the last three days I have eaten some of the best fish, squid and octopus that I have ever tasted.

The Hobart season of the show opened last night and looked fantastic. Getting it there, however...

Through no fault of my own, or the theatre staff, the Hobart bump in was plagued with technical difficulties. During the first night of focusing we lost around 2 hours just dealing with technical hiccups.

Then, directly after the Tuesday's technical rehearsal and two hours before our opening night, another one of the slide projectors decided to implode... A few frantic phonecalls later and we managed to locate the only hireable, compatible, projector in Hobart and have since substituted it into the show.

So far we've had two performances and, similar to Launceston, the number of bums on seats has been a little small. This is a trend which we imagine will reverse by the time we get to the bigger capital cities, but at present the producer is beginning to look a little pale. Those punters who have seen the show, however, have loved it.

We've got one more show tonight and then we'll be packing it up again and flying back to Melbourne. After a few days rest and relaxation we'll be trading one extreme for the other and heading north to the sunny (and remarkably hot) Gold Coast. Still, it'll be nice to get away from the cold, overcast days we've been enjoying here in Tasmania.

Tour Diary - Day 14 (cont.) - Launceston to Hobart.

2005-03-07T07:09:00.000+11:00

Yesterday the company enjoyed a remarkably leisurely drive from Launceston to Hobart, or, to be more exact, I enjoyed a lovely drive whilst Neil provided a running "tour" commentary of everything we passed... ("This is you captain speaking, in the case of an emergency you will be required to throw the doors open and run like hell...")

After a brief stop over in the lovely, convict-built, historical village of Ross, we arrived in Hobart.

At first glance it appeared that our hotel was going to be an considerable improvement on the last one. Our Hobart hotel is attached to a "therapeutic salt bath and spa", which the guests may use for free. Sound inviting? Sure, except for the fact that my room smells an awful lot like chlorine.

Add to that the flickering light in my room's kitchen, which is not just annoying but liable to induce seizures in epileptic and I think you'll understand why I've requested a change of rooms...

Doing our best to put the negative thoughts about our accommodation behind us, last night Adam, Andew and I feasted on amazing seafood at Mures, whilst over looking the bay... You can say what you want about Tassie, but you've got to admit that the place is extremely beautiful.

Today's the first day of the bump in here in Hobart... We've got four hours less than we had in Launceston, so it's probably going to be a little strenuous... Oh well... That's what I'm paid for...

Tour diary - Days 11 - 14 - Launceston

2005-03-06T10:28:00.000+11:00

The very first thing I noticed about Launceston was the air.

Over the last few decades I’ve heard a lot of discussions, seen a lot of documentaries and read a lot books which talk about air pollution in our cities. It wasn’t until I arrived in Launceston, however, that I finally achieved a real understanding of this issue.

The air in Launceston is amazingly clean. You can actually taste the cleanliness of the air with every breath you take. That realization alone has made the tour to Tasmania a worth while experience.

The second thing I noticed about Launceston was how beautiful it is. Launceston and its immediate surrounds are simply gorgeous. Words can’t describe just how idyllic The Basin is, and it’s just a taste of the environment which borders every side of Launceston.

The third thing I noticed about Launceston was the location of our hotel… And I use the word “hotel” liberally…

The company manager booked the hotel/motel, site unseen, due to the fact that it was listed as a four star hotel and the advertising material stated that it was only 500m from the theatre we were playing in. What the manager wasn’t aware of, however, is that everything in Launceston is less than 500m from our theatre and that the “hotel” in question, whilst less than 500m away, sits at the top of a sixty degree hill…. Getting to the theatre of a morning has been remarkably easy, getting home however….

The forth thing I noticed about Launceston is that the town shuts down completely after 5pm on weekdays and 12noon on weekends, which has made little things like finding food, getting internet access and washing clothes remarkably difficult.

Despite low attendance, the season here in Launceston was well received and the show received fantastic reviews in both The Examiner and The Mercury. Following our three shows in two days, we wrapped it up last night, packed up and were out of the theatre by 1am. Today we drive to Hobart, have the night off and then do it all again (this time for just two shows).

I’m immensely looking forward to the drive, since I suspect that it’s going to be my best chance (during this trip) too actually see a little of the Tasmanian countryside. Anyway, its time for me to head back to the hotel, finishing packing and check out…

Once last thing before I go - For those of you who are awaiting e-mails from me, I will hopefully get a bit of time in Hobart to deal with my in-box (provided that there is an internet connection in my room… and I’m not holding my breath…).

Tour Diary - Day 10 - Melbourne to Launceston

2005-03-02T21:51:00.000+11:00

After a quick flight across the ocean, we arrived in Launceston at around 4pm. Andrew, our truck driver/assistant stage manager, is a Launceston boy by birth, so immediately set about showing us the local’s version of Launceston.

Following a brief stop at our rather dodgy hotel, we traveled up to The Basin and enjoyed a beer whilst overlooking the river and being stalked by hungry peacocks… Idyllic!

Tomorrow we’ll begin the bump in to the Princess Theatre. It’s going to be an interesting experience, especially since it’s the first time we’ll be setting up the show without the design team.

One last thing worth mentioning – Whilst having dinner (a decidedly average chicken parma) I tried a “Beez Neez”, which is a honey infused beer. It’s the best reason I’ve heard so far for moving to Tasmania… How has this wonderful brew not made its way to the mainland?

Asleep, Awake, and Awaiting...

2005-03-02T12:08:00.000+11:00

I've just finished re-packing and will be jetting to Launceston in about two hours time.

Whilst I'm waiting for the cab to arrive, however, I've been enjoying Ben Lee's newest offering "Awake is the New Sleep".

Written directly after Ben's break-up with Clare Danes, this album is, in my humble opinion, the Ben Lee's best album so far. It's beautiful, heart-rendering and thoroughly enjoyable.

I highly recommend it to anybody who enjoys catchy rhythms, sublime lyrics and beautiful melodies!

99blogartsneurocamrooms

2005-02-27T17:05:00.000+11:00

Now that I'm back in Melbourne (albeit for a whopping two days) I've been taking a moment to catch up on the Neurocam news. It sounds like everything is beginning to settle down a little, which I think is a good thing.

Recently I've been a little concerned that, if everything continued at the break-neck pace established just after The Age article, there would be so much activity that everybody would suffer a bit of burn-out... For me Neurocam has always been a much slower process, revealing itself bit by bit over an incredibly protracted period... Which doesn't mean that it has to stay that way, but I think that the slower process actually allows people to savor each development a little bit more.

Two developments that I've thoroughly enjoyed are the blogs of Xul Solar 23 and Unconchis... Neurocam operatives? Neurocam disciples? Neurocam detractors? Neurocam forgeries? All of the above? I don't know for sure and don't really care either way. No matter what their origins, both blogs have entertained me immensely this afternoon.

One other thing which has entertained me immensely is the 99 rooms project (which Unconchis has linked to). It's a fascinating site and I suspect that, given the chance, I could lose myself for days there. Go take a look!

Tour diary - Days 8 & 9 - Canberra/Melbourne

2005-02-27T15:53:00.000+11:00

Last night was the final night of the Canberra season and what a doozy it was.

Five minutes into the first act, one of the projectors (of which there are four in the show) blew a gasket and stopped working. After a frantic interval examination, we discovered that it had blown a fuse which, at first, didn't appear to be too much of a problem since I had packed a spare slide projector.

Unfortunately the only way to get the slides out of a carousel projector is to actually have it working... So instead of changing projectors, I decided to pilfer the fuse from the working one and put it in the not working one... BANG! There goes another fuse...

As a result we were down one slide projector for the rest of the show and I now have the uneviable task of trying to get the projector fixed before Launceston.

After the show it was time to bump out of The Canberra Theatre Centre. I had been expecting that the bump out would take until at least 3am, and so was relieved to be heading back to my hotel by 1am.

I was also delighted to watch Carmen attack, pit-bull style, the many Canberra party-goers who thought it was a good idea to park directly in front of the truck which was being loaded at 1am in the morning...

We checked out of the hotel at 8am, flew to Melbourne at 10am and now have two days in which to rest and recuperate before flying to Launceston... Mmmm... I foresee a lot of sleeping in my near future...

Tour Diary - Days 7 & 8 - Canberra

2005-02-26T11:21:00.000+11:00

Today and yesterday have been devoted to playing catch-up with a number of my dearest friends. Last night it was dinner with Euan and Ratbat, followed by a show which, truth be told, was one of the rougher performances we've given.

This morning I've breakfasted with Sil and Petra and am currently mentally preparing myself for the bump-out of the show tonight.

In expectation of the fact that I won't finish work until the early hours of tomorrow morning (3 or 4am), and that I've then got a 9am flight back to Melbourne, I'm also starting to pack up my hotel room.

Before I do that, however, and whilst I'm on the subject of my dearest friends, I wanted to take a moment to welcome Paul (whose template looks a little familiar) to the world of blogging and point you all towards Cyzilla's latest amazing downloadable set... Good work chaps!

Now it's time to pack...

Tour Diary - Day 6 - Canberra

2005-02-25T14:08:00.000+11:00

Yesterday was a day of ups and downs.

Despite my waking up at 6am, my day got off to a fantastic start. When I used to live in Canberra, a few of my friends and I used to have a tradition of meeting at 7am on Thursdays, prior to everyone heading to work, and having breakfast together. Well yesterday, for one day only, we revisited that tradition. It was absolutely lovely to catch up with Sil, Marcus, Fran, Lunch, Marc and Nick.

Following three hours of breakfast (which felt like fifteen minutes due to sentimentality) I headed over the my parents place, played with my dog, fixed Mum's computer and then took my mother for her first ever sushi experience.

All in all, the day seemed pretty good.

When I got back to the hotel, however, I learnt a valuable lesson - Don't go swimming with your mobile phone still in your pocket...

Add to that experience (and subsequent cheap replacement handset purchasing) the fact that the pool was ridiculously over-chlorinated (thus making my eyes itch for the rest of the day) and I'm sure you can see how my day suddenly slipped into hellishness.

Still, despite all of that, last night's show went pretty well and I had a pretty relaxing day... Not as relaxing as today (in which I have done almost nothing), but relaxing nonetheless.

Remembering the gonzo...

2005-02-24T17:53:00.000+11:00

"Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether." - Hunter S. Thompson

Upon hearing the news that the man who defined the term "gonzo journalism" has shuffled off the mortal coil in one of the most violent manners imaginable I had the overwhelming urge to weep. To weep not just for the loss of an incredible individual, but for what may have been the death of a way of thinking within American journalism.

Obscure, wild, fragmented and demented, the work of Hunter S. Thompson had a way of touching me deeply... even when I had no idea what it was he was talking about.

After some reflection I was able, finally, to repress my urge to weep. It occurred to me, as I now started to consider finding a bottle of whisky with which to salute our fallen mentor, that there was a poetic appropriateness to the way in which Thompson departed this world. How much more tragic would it have been to watch him slowly wither away, to observe his decent into obscurity as the stars of "Big Brother" became the heroes of the next generation?

Now please don't interpret this post as my condoning the act of suicide, but don't you agree that, on some level, the suicide of Hunter S. Thompson appears to be the most appropriate end to the madness of his life?

Appropriate or not, it's still sad to see him go. Hunter S. Thompson, I raise a pint of ether in your honor.

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson.

Tour Diary - Day 5 - Canberra

2005-02-24T17:22:00.000+11:00

It's fair to say that yesterday was somewhat anti-climatic. Despite it being the official "opening night" of the show, most of the glitz and glamour was exhausted on Tuesday night.

Wednesday was spent polishing some of the rougher edges of the show, doing a matinee, shaking the head in disbelief about the silliness inherent in drinking until 3am the night before an opening night, attending the official opening party which was rather disappointing and then slinking off to the hotel room at something which resembled a respectable hour.

Yesterday also marked the last day that the Lighting Designer, Matt, would be traveling with the show. Which means that, from here on in, the lighting's entirely my responsibility... Time to sink or swim...

Tour Diary - Days 3 & 4 - Canberra

2005-02-23T09:28:00.000+11:00

Where Sunday was hellish, Monday was purgatory... The day was spent plotting, tweaking, taping and waiting. Another fifteen hour day, but without the constant movement to keep me awake... Is it a professional faux pax to fall asleep during the tech rehearsal?

By the end of Sunday we were around two hours behind, but that wasn't a reason for concern. Being the first time that we've staged the show, we expected that there was going to be some teething problems. We made up those three hours on Tuesday, even though I had to wait until 2pm to receive a package which was the freight company had guaranteed would be delivered by 10.30am at the latest.

Tuesday night was the first performance of the show... A preview which, due to its "world debut" nature, became an opening night. The performance was attended by the Governor General (complete with personal armed escort) and a bevy of industry representatives... The guests of honor at the debut party, however, were my old housemate Marc and his current housemate Matt, whom I had a great catch up with.

Once they closed the bar at the function, we retired to The Phoenix for beer and merriment.

When I was living in Canberra I used to avoid the Phoenix. I knew that it was a relaxed, lovely pub, but always thought that it was a little too smoky... The last two times I've toured to Canberra, however, I've ended up spending an awful lot of time in The Phoenix and I'm now convinced that it really is one of the most unpretentious, enjoyable, drinking establishments in the country.

After having yet another bar close on us, The Lighting Designer, Matt, The Stagemanager, Adam, The Truck Driver/Technical assistant, Andrew, The composer, David, and I retired to Adam's room to discuss the differences between subsidized theatre and commercial theatre.

I made it back to my room by 3am and am now about to head back into the theatre for a meeting in which we'll be attempting to figure out exactly how we are going to fit this show into the theatres in Launceston and Hobart... My guess is that we'll be buying a crowbar sometime in the next few days...

Tour Diary - Day 2 - Canberra.

2005-02-20T23:34:00.000+11:00

Finished at 2.30am... back in at 8am... Finished at 11pm... Less than four hours sleep... Too much caffeine... Too much faulty hire equipment... Not enough time... Two hours behind at the end of the day... Fatigue setting in... Need sleep...

Tour Diary - Day 1 - Melbourne to Canberra.

2005-02-19T17:07:00.000+11:00

As I'm sure you've all noticed, there has been a distinct lack of activity on this blog. If you've been paying attention, you'll be aware that the reason for this recent bout of "missing in action" behavior is that I've been getting ready to go on tour.

Well now the packing's done, the procrastinating is finished, the brutal "which books and CDs do I want to take" selection process has been completed and I have begun my tour.

For those of you who weren't paying attention, the play I'm touring with is "Weary". It's about the life of Sir Edward "Weary" Dunlop, one of Australia's most renowned war-time figures.

So, anyway, at 2pm this afternoon I flew from Melbourne to Canberra in a tiny dual propeller plane (the type which, when I used to travel with the ABC, I have often referred to as the "pencil of death"). The flight was bumpy, the baby in the seat across the aisle didn't stop screaming for the entire flight and someone's mobile went off whilst we were making our decent into Canberra... A perfect start to my tour.

I'm now in my hotel room which, thankfully, has broadband access and soon I'll be off to have dinner with my folks (who live here in Canberra). Then, at 10.30pm, I'll be heading into the Canberra Theatre Centre to begin the bump-in of the show.

To add to my perfect tour start, tonight I will finish work at 2.30am, heading back to the hotel, catching a few hours sleep and then heading back into the theatre for a 13 hour work day which begins at 8am... If this is how the rest of the tour is scheduled I might be in trouble...

And yes, in case you were wondering, I expect that, despite all of the above, I'm going to have a blast on this tour... Which won't, however, stop me from complaining from time to time...

Alternate Parking...

2005-02-16T21:44:00.000+11:00

Many moons ago I discovered an amazing online comic named The Parking Lot Is Full.

Unfortunately the old adage that "all good things must come to an end" was proven to be true when Patrick Spacek, the creative force behind PLIF, wrapped the project up in 2002.

Since then Patrick has been teasing his fans with a number of Yahoo mail groups and the odd promise of a new and exciting comic. It was through those yahoo mail groups that, earlier today, Spacek made an announcement which both disappointed and delighted us here at the bandwagon.

The new comic is still-born, choked on an umbilical cord of untrustworthy comic-book artists.

Now whilst that may be reason to shed a tear, it wasn't all doom and gloom because Spacek also announced his TWO new projects.

The first is a blog, an everyday, run-of-the-mill, web journal in which you can read Patrick's remarkably twisted observations of the world around him. It's called "The Shaved Ape Chronicles" and is well worth a look.

It's the second project, however, that I think promises to be much more interesting.

"Fighting The Influence" is also a blog, but not an everyday, run-of-the-mill, blog. It is, instead, a creative output for Spacek. In his own words -

"If you've followed my mailing list stuff, you know how much I like writing from the perspective of the dangerous and insane. The 'b' blog is the ultimate expression of this, a novella in blog form, paranoid insanity via Philip K. Dick's 'VALIS'. I'm sure it's been done before, but not often enough, and not by me.

Having just read the first few posts of "Fighting The Influence", I've got to say that I'm very, very excited. My only question is - How long will it be before there is a "The Dalai Lama is Evil!" website?

Relief?

2005-02-13T23:04:00.000+11:00

As you are all no doubt aware, on December 26, 2004, a terrible tragedy occurred when a Tsunami devastated large portions of South East Asia.

Within days there were images of horror, destruction and desperation being beamed all around the globe, thanks to the wonder of modern technology.

I was immensely proud, although it pains me to admit it, of the Australian Government when they announced that they would be donating $1,000,000,000 to the relief effort. I was equally proud of the Australian people when they reached into their pockets and donated in unprecedented proportions.

It was a terrible event and the generous response from the public and private sectors was the right one. If you live anywhere in the Western world and didn't donate at least some money, then you deserve to have your Nintendo and SUV inserted side-ways into your various orifices.

Now, however, I can't help but wonder if there is another tragedy imminent.

Today, as I passed a poster which advertised yet another Tsunami relief fund raising concert, I found myself feeling a little cynical.

Yes it's a good cause, but have we forgotten about all of the other charities?

We don't live in a perfect world. There are millions of people, in countries all over the world, who are suffering for one reason or another and only a small proportion of those people are suffering because of the Tsunami.

With all of these funds, both public and private, being directed towards Tsunami relief, will there be anything left over? Or will corporations and governments exhaust the funds that they have available for "charities" and just decided that the non-Tsunami charities are just going to have to miss out this year?

Are we only giving money to tsunami relief because it would be "uncool" not to do so? Has tsunami relief merely become another buzz phrase?

I don't actually have any answers to the questions that I've posed above. I would, however, love to have my cynicism trampled by articles and statements which show that the money being given to Tsunami relief is not just money being redirected from other charities, but I don't think that's going to happen.

Now I know that this post might make me a little unpopular in some quarters, so I'm sorry if you take offence at any of the above. Be assured, all I'm actually saying is - Next time you reach into your pocket to give more money to Tsunami relief, take a moment to think about the other charities who might need your help.

Here endth the sermon....

Blog Post Deficit Disorder.

2005-02-10T20:01:00.000+11:00

Hmmmmm.... As you may have noticed, there has been a noticeable lack of posting here at the bandwagon.

The reason for this? Well, to use an excuse that I've used many times before, I've been too busy.

Next week is the Cyrano bump in, which is going to be massive, so I've been busy getting ready for that.

In addition, next Friday I'll be flying to Canberra and beginning the 16 week tour of "Weary", so I've been busy putting my life in order.

And, more immediately, to add just that extra little bit of hectic to my already chaotic life, tomorrow Sharn and I drive to Canberra, stay a night, fly to Sydney, attend the wedding of my ex-housemate Paul and his lovely wife-to-be Christy, stay with Chaos Butterfly (trust me, he's a real person) and then fly back to Melbourne on Sunday so I can start packing anew.

Taking that all into consideration, I hope you'll forgive the lack of attention I've been paying to this blog recently.

Funnily enough, once I'm on tour and traveling around the country I'm probably going to have a lot more time on my hands, so a more regular (and, perhaps, interesting) blogging schedule will be adopted.

Oh, and one last thing before I rush out the door, if you're here seeking a Neurocam fix, it would appear that Operative Delta has established a forum where you can discuss such things. I hereby give it my "haven't even looked at it yet" approval and strongly suggest that all of you 'cammers go and join up.

That's all for now, it's time to finishing packing...

Something's happening here...

2005-02-06T14:39:00.000+11:00

Let's stop for a moment and take a look around -

Last week The United Nations declared that the recent actions of the Sudanese Government did not constitute genocide.

Their actions did, however, constitute systematic - "killing of civilians, enforced disappearances, destruction of villages, rape and other forms of sexual violence, pillaging and forced displacement, throughout Darfur". And, it should be noted, that these acts were committed by individuals who "may have committed "acts with genocidal intent"".

Mmmmm... Now maybe I didn't hear that right, but when "70,000 people have been killed and two million more forced to flee their homes" it sounds an awful lot like genocide to me.

It obviously doesn't sound like genocide to the United Nations though, and the Sudanese Government are reportedly quite relieved by that fact.

So why did the United Nations decide that it wasn't genocide? Well a decision of genocide would result in the United Nations being morally obliged to step in, which, as this article points out, is not in the interest of certain Nation's which have a right of veto over the United Nations Security Council.

"In addition to this international apathy toward Africa, several of the permanent members of the Security Council have "vested interests" that make them very reluctant to risk antagonising the Khartoum government.
"China is the largest single investor in the petroleum industry in Sudan, and Russia is a major arms supplier to Khartoum," Colgan said.

"Both China and Russia, which are opposed to sanctions on Sudan, also have strong military relations with the government in Khartoum."

Which begs the question - Why do 5 countries within the United Nations have a right of veto?

Not so long ago I read George Monbiot's manifesto for a worldwide revolution, "The Age Of Consent". Now "The Age Of Consent" is a pretty idealistic book which, truth be told, makes a lot of suggestions which I feel are completely impractical, but it does make one thing abundantly clear - Whilst ever there is ANY nation within the United Nations which has a right of veto, the United Nations is NOT a democratic institution.

Monbiot recommends doing away with The United Nations and then establishing a "World Parliament" where every individual in the world has one vote. Personally I think that such a suggestion, whilst admirable, is unlikely to be achievable in the near future. I do, however, believe that it is worth striving for.

In the mean time I think we should be pushing for the abolition of the "right of veto". To replace it I see two viable options.

The 1st would be a one country, one vote set-up, which, although not completely democratic, would be a step in the right direction.

The 2nd would be a situation where a country gets a number of votes which is equal to its population.

Obviously both of these suggestions have serious flaws.

Under a "one country, one vote" set-up a country with a population of 100,000 would have as equal a say as a country with a population of 1,000,000,000, which is not any body's definition of democratic. And with a "your population equals the number of your votes arrangement", dictators would be able to use their people's votes to advance their own agendas.

But before you dismiss these suggestions outright, I think you should ask yourself the question - Are either of those options any worse than one in which a single country, with vested interests, can veto a move to stop genocide?

Rewarding Honesty

2005-02-04T20:39:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I had a truly unique encounter with a truly unique human being.

I was walking down Bourke Street in the Melbourne CBD, pretty much minding my own business, when I noticed a young gentleman who was obviously trying to attract my attention.

Based on his appearance, I made some immediate assumptions and, even before he had reached me, I was positive that I knew what he was seeking. He was probably in his early thirties, was wearing a tattered shirt and ripped jeans, and looked as though he hadn’t seen a bath or shower for a number of weeks.

Now I’m generally reasonably generous when it comes to beggars, so I was already reaching into my pocket by the time he opened his mouth. What came out, however, took me by surprise.

“Hey Mate,” he said, “I’m not interested in spinning you a story. Do you think you could give me some money so I could buy some cheap and nasty alcohol?”

What? No story about sick grandmothers, a lack of bus fare or just needing change for a phone call?

I laughed out loud and promptly slipped him ten bucks for making my day…

Which just goes to prove - Honesty is always the best policy.

Song #17

2005-02-01T18:33:00.000+11:00

The 32 songs challenge has, due to the silly season, stalled somewhat over the last few weeks. Before it could completely slip into a coma, however, Lunch and Ratbat have given it a good kick-start with their latest entries.

Overcome by shame after reading their offerings, I decided that today was as good a day as any to get back on the wagon.

Graham’s 32 Songs - #17 “Hey Boy Hey Girl” by The Chemical Brothers.

“Hey boy.
Hey girl.
Superstar DJs.
Here we go!”

I’m frequently amazed by the number of people who claim to hate electronica, but love The Chemical Brothers. It’s a common enough phenomenon which generally results in my informing the electronica bigot that the Chemical Brothers are the epitome of electronica, which then inevitably leads to the conversation ending with their subsequent reply of – “Yeah… but The Chemical Brothers are… different.”

So are they different? They certainly are, but what is it that makes them so different? That is a much harder question to answer.

When I first encountered The Chemical Brothers I was struck by how dynamic their music is. Even though I’m a fan of electronica, I’m not afraid to admit that most dance music consists of one or two clever riffs layered upon remarkably repetitive beats. Songs by The Chemical Brothers, however, seem to be much more textured. There’s more rhythms, more riffs, more sounds, more beats and even, occasionally, moments of silence. They’re not afraid to slow their songs down, lose the bass and add a pretty vocal. Nor do they hesitate to speed a song up until the point where even Speedy Gonzales has trouble keeping up.

It’s not just their use of rhythms, beats and riffs, however, that has made The Chemical Brothers into one of the world’s ultimate cross-over bands. There’s one other little element which works in their favor – Guitars!

As electronica grew in popularity, guitarists the world over must have thought they were becoming an endangered species, but The Chemical Brothers put a stop to that. Next time you’re having a listen to a song by The Chemical Brothers pay close attention to the guitars. They’re there… Hear them?

I’m convinced that the main difference between The Chemical Brothers and other electronica groups is the use of guitars. It’s as if the sound of a guitar, even though it may be distorted to hell and dropped far back in the mix, somehow placates the electronica bigot, lulling them into a false sense of comfort where The Chemical Brothers are merely futuristic relations of the pub-rock bands the bigot is used to listening to.

For me, though, The Chemical Brothers are just creators of fantastic music and, as such, I could have included any one of a dozen of their songs in my 32 songs list. Faced with the near-impossible task of selecting just one track, I ended up choosing “Hey Boy Hey Girl” because it has another important significance.

In the late 90’s and early 00’s my extended circle of friends spent an inordinate amount of time hanging out in a single café – Café Macchiato. “Café Mac”, as it was known to us, was nothing special. The food was decidedly average, the beer selection was small and the prices were high, but it had one thing going for it – Us.

Due to some unknown twist of fate, we all seemed to agree (although no discussion ever occurred) that “Café Mac” was the best place to hang out in and so, on any given night, there was anywhere from between 2 to 40 of us sitting in the booths. It was an extremely rare day that I would walk into Café Macchiato and not find at least one person I knew already there. As a result, there are a surprisingly large number of my memories which relate to time spent in that particular café.

So how does “Hey Boy Hey Girl” fit it? Well, apart from the average beer and high prices, “Café Mac” also had a jukebox which had an awful lot of dreadful songs in it. The one gem, amongst the many shockers, was “Hey Boy Hey Girl” and so, in an attempt to stop the repeats of Bananarama and Billy Joel, “Hey Boy Hey Girl” was often on high rotation.

A sign of how ingrained my mental connection of “Café Mac” with “Hey Boy Hey Girl” has become was demonstrated last Sunday when I went to see The Chemical Brothers perform at The Big Day Out. As I stood there in a crowd of over 20,000 and listened to The Chemical Brothers begin their set with a loop of the vocal line from “Hey Boy Hey Girl”, I was bombarded with memories of sitting with friends, chatting with Bec and Anna, eating undercooked chicken schnitzel and wondering why we hadn’t selected a bar with a bigger range of songs on its jukebox… It was the perfect start to one of the most amazing live performances I have ever been to.

Anticipation...

2005-01-29T16:42:00.000+11:00

Tommorow -

The Beastie Boys, System of the Down, The Chemical Brothers, The Music, The Streets, Slipknot, Carl Cox, Powderfinger, Grinspoon, John Butler Trio, Concord Dawn, The Donnas, The D4, Blue Explosion, Regurgitator, Scribe and P Money, Freestylers, Le Tigre, Kid 606, Deceptikonz, Atmosphere, Hatebreed, The Hives, Polyphonic Spree, Spiderbait, Leeroy, Hilltop Hoods, Eskimo Joe, Infusion, Butterfingers, Little Birdy, Dallas Crane, Spazzys, Wolfmother, Decoder Ring, Bexta, The Mess Hall, Frenzel Rhomb, DJ Jonathan Wall, Money Mark, Digital Primate, Kid Koala, Rise Against, RJD2, Evermore and Cut Copy!

Am I little excited?

Hell YEAH!

Big Brother Forever.

2005-01-27T18:15:00.000+11:00

This is pretty old news, but I've been meaning to mention it for a while.

Maybe I'm slow to catch on, but are human beings so starved for intimacy and connection, yet so unable to tear themselves away from their televisions, that they need to watch a version of Big Brother which runs 24/7 and NEVER ends?

And what happens when ratings start to drop? Unlike a soapie it's pretty hard to orchestrate a "Who shot JR?" in reality TV... Or is it?

Also, this line from the article grabbed my attention -

"Instead, they will be expected to spend decades in the village - working, marrying, breeding, divorcing and dying."

Breeding? How does that fit in with international bills regarding the rights of a child?

This sort of thing makes me think it's about time an asteroid came and wiped us out.

Anyway, that's enough outrage from me. I'm going to go and check what's on the tape from the listening device I left at Nicole's place....

Nostalgia take 2.

2005-01-25T23:54:00.000+11:00

Due to a severely over stimulated nostalgia gland and a self-destructive desire to obliterate any credibility I might have still possessed, tonight I convinced my housemate Chris to join me at a concert.

Which concert? You guessed it - Frente!..... again....

Seriously though, it's not quite as tragic as it sounds.

As Sharn and I left the 1st Frente concert last Saturday we were handed a flyer. On that flyer was an invitation to a special "acoustic mode" concert which was happening tonight.

I stashed the flyer in my pocket and pretty much forgot about it. Then, tonight, because I had felt a little jipped last time, I was suddenly seized by the irresistible urge to attend just in case they played "Accidentally Kelly Street".

Luckily Chris turned out to be a closet Frente fan and thus our plans were made.

Tonight's concert consisted only of Angie and Simon, doing it acoustic and frequently using their voices to cover for the missing instruments (Simon does a wicked trumpet sound).

Tonight's Frente concert was lovely, intimate and again filled me with a sense of nostalgia. Which is lucky, since we had to endure what was possibly the world's worst support group.

Once again they closed with "Bizarre Love Triangle" and refused to play "Accidentally Kelly Street" (in fact, every time anybody yelled out it's name, Simon would reply "Kenny G? No, we're not Kenny G?").

So was it too much nostalgia in one week? Maybe.... Except that I'll be sure to work it out of my system this weekend when I go see The Chemical Brothers, The Beastie Boys, Frenzel Rhomb, Infusion, John Butler, Butterfingers and Regurgitator at The Big Day Out.

A little nostalgia.

2005-01-23T17:59:00.000+11:00

Whenever anybody tells me that they "hate" something, I tend to hit them with my standard response that "hate is a pretty strong word".

I' m telling you this so that you may be well aware of the inherent gravitas of the following statement - I used to hate Frente.

In fact, hate may not even be a strong enough word.

I used to loath Frente. Detest them. I used to spend entire weekends projecting negative emotion at images of Angie Hart in the hope that she would suffer a not-so-unfortunate accident with a blender, a watermelon and Eddie McGuire.

I remember fondly those days of Frente hatred. Those days spent relaxing on porches, wearing black jeans and heavy metal t-shirts, hanging out with friends, mocking the colour, energy and child-like tom-foolery of "Accidentally Kelly Street".

I also remember fondly the day that I changed my mind about Frente.

It had a lot to do with their covering one of my favourite songs (still to come in the 32 songs challenge) "Bizarre Love Triangle".

Now "BLT", apart from being a tasty sandwich, was a amazing song in the hands of New Order, but Frente made it their own. With one cover song they taught me that New Order could be beautiful and that Frente weren't quite as bad as I had originally thought.

It was mostly for that reason I was extremely excited about heading off to see Frente perform live last night.

Sharn and I rocked into the Corner Hotel in time to catch the 1st support act, Surrogate Turnip, who were lovely, if a little repetitive.

We then endured the drones of Joni Lightning and eagerly awaited a return set from Surrogate Turnip.

Surrogate Turnip did return, struggled with their sound quality, struggled to be heard over the talking crowd, struggled due to a missing band member and then rocked out hard with a live mash up of "Eye of The Tiger" sung over the beats of Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby".

Then it was time for Frente.

Suddenly I was a teenager again... Without the Frente hatred.

90 minutes of beautiful nostalgia later, Frente closed their set with "Bizarre Love Triangle" and made my night in the process.

Although I've got to admit that, as I left, I was somewhat disappointed that they didn't play "Accidentally Kelly Street"... Which just goes to prove, I must be getting old....

Slander(tm) or Truth(tm)?

2005-01-21T20:26:00.000+11:00

It's been almost a week since I posted, yet my stats counter tells me that there are a record number of people visiting this site.... Did ya miss me?

Normal blogging will resume next week, but, in the meantime, I just wanted to address this -

It would appear that Avery Cardoza has dredged up a certain creative diatribe written by a certain creative absent friend.

So now, apart from being accused of guiding Neurocam operatives, I'm being accused of -

"... going to promote civil unrest and kill children."

I would, of course, deny it, but I'm sick of denials at present. Let's just assume it's true and be done with it.

Thanks a heap cZ... You're going to owe me for that one...

Vicarious Textured Kudos...

2005-01-16T13:48:00.000+11:00

I'm about to rush out the door so this has to be a short post, but I just wanted to take a moment to direct you all towards the most recent of Cyzilla's amazing downloadable mixes.

For the last two days I have been listening to both the "present intension" mix and the "christmas cheer" mix. Heard together they have formed a remarkably pleasant soundtrack for my weekend, though I must admit that there's something about "Christmas Cheer" that really appeals to the repressed "2 Many DJs" fan within... More power to the mash-up!

So point your browser towards them, give them a listen, dance around your bedroom and then award me vicarious kudos because he's a friend of mine.

This has been an unauthorised "Jumping On The Bandwagon" promotion. Proving once again that I'll never hesitate to cash in on the talents of my friends.

Accusations and denials...

2005-01-14T21:58:00.000+11:00

There is a distinct irony in the fact that today, exactly one year after I first began blogging about Neurocam, I am suddenly being accused of being much more heavily involved than I really am.

For the record, I have no idea what my name is doing on that document.

In fact, until I read Lady J's blog, I had never even seen that document before... Although I did notice that a lot of its contents match the answers Maxwell Knight has been giving on various forums of late.

Is anybody going to believe this denial? Even though it's actually the truth? I suspect not, but that doesn't mean I should remain silent.

And this isn't the first time this week that I've been the target of such baseless accusations. A couple of days ago I received an e-mail remarkably similar to one that Tript received.

It reads:

Sender: Aerten Goddess
Subject: Too many loopholes in a worthwhile and interesting story......
Date: Monday January 10, 2005

Graham,

Greetings from Texas. I have been following this Neurocam business in just the past two days and have come up with a lot of things. Everyone involved in Neurocam, or the lack of what it is, are art students or were in arts at one point. Either in college, university, or school. Yourself included.

Now you have a pretty elaborate blog and dealings with Neurocam as does Steven. You both are very good writers. You have put on your website a whole archive of information regarding this 'myth' organization. It is fun, I'll give you that. It took me quite a while to crack most of it and its fine. I expected more though. You guys have a lot of holes you really do need to cover up. First of all the whole Neurocam thing I think was intended as a project to see how much generated interest and fun you guys could have with it. Well you did that, kudos to you, you made the media, the web, and countless talk forums. You have even succeeded in reaching me here in Texas.

We all know that people want to feel important and like they are a part of things. People love a good mystery and sometimes even danger. I doubt that you were kidnapped, I mean who the hell would do such a thing, it's illegal. There are no real pictures by other bloggers except by yourself and Steven. Know what that means? Yes that is correct you two are somehow directly behind feeding the excitement and fire for the head of the whole thing which would be Robin Hely and or Peter Bourke.

I give them props because their brilliance has brought it so far. The only thing is that the entire thing is on the internet. You've never left your house to do any
missions, you nor Steven. The worst part is that Graham you could have gotten someone better to hold that briefcase, a real woman instead of a man. It is very obvious to me that the person in the picture is a man.

Everything involving Neurocam is just countless 'voodoo and death become you and mayhem' emails that you guys post on your site which further feeds the frenzy of people wanting in. I applaud you. Looks like your 'art' history background has paid off. The only problems were your videos that you put on your site. The countless loopholes found in the story and a few other key things. I know no doubt that you'll post this and start to deny deny deny, but the fact remains, this was solely a project on the internet. By the way you guys could have dumped that ugly transvestite, ie Shelly Innocence. It is so obviously a man.

Best of luck to you in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Aerten

Deny, deny, deny? Well, to quote a biblical character (and Iocus Severus in one of his e-mails to Tript), have you heard the cock crow yet?

There's no need for me to rebuke Aerten's "it's all on the internet" theory here, since a pretty good job has been done over in the comments to this post of Tript's.

Seriously though, I'm about to go on a 15 week tour and then, later in the year, I'll be going on another tour which is scheduled to go for around 10 weeks. Considering that means I'll be on tour for 25 of the 52 weeks of this year, when on earth would I have time to be writing documents for Neurocam?

The other irony inherent in all of this is the fact that I had intended to use today's post to announce my retirement from Neurocam. I simply do not have the time to try to keep abreast of everything that's going on at the moment, the rest of my life is moving at 100 miles per hour and I'm of the opinion that a year of my life has been enough to give... Unfortuantely, I suspect that this move will now merely be seen as an attempt to distance myself from the whole shebang...

Anybody else spy a rock and a hard place?

A few quick Neurocam tid-bits...

2005-01-13T17:56:00.000+11:00

As Sharn and I are about to head off to the opening night of Things We Do For Love, I don't really have time to put up a substantial post. There are however a few Neurocam things which deserve a quick mention.

Firstly, I'd like to apologise to Lady J, whom I recently accused of being jditezzio. She set me right pretty quickly with the following e-mail (which I hope she doesn't mind me posting) :

Sender: Lady J
Subject: Oh no! Please clear my name!
Date: Monday January 10, 2005.

Hey Graham,

In case you don't spot my message in your comments, just wanted to let you know that I'm not jditezzio. I don't operate like that.

The email you received can also be found here, which might shed some light on its origins:

http://forums.unfiction.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=116777#116777

Cheers,
J

Your name is cleared, Lady J, and I promise to check my facts next time.

Not only is Lady J not jditezzio, but jditezzio has also contacted me again. This time with the following:

Sender: Jditezzio
Subject: Peter Burke Alias?
Date: Wednesday January 12, 2005

http://www.kazakstankowgirls.com

Check out Rudi's picture.

The resemblance to Shelly Innocence is uncanny...

The last e-mail of note has arrived from yet another Latin Monikered correspondent, although this one actually seems to have some information worth reading -

Sender: Methodius Umbrares
Subject: Re: The Crowley Connection
Date: Tuesday January 11, 2005.

Graham,

Rest assured that I am not one of your "loonies"; a Latinized moniker is the only thing I share in common with Oulios. It may be of interest to you that Maxwell Knight's namesake (04/09/1900-27/01/1968) was both a high-ranking official of the MI5 during WWII, and an associate of the infamous Aleister Crowley, referred to in jditezzio's recent analysis of Document 4- "Robert Henley to Fiat Nox".

From http://www.redflame93.com/Knight.html:
"He is probably most famous for his career as a British spy-master during World War II, having joined MI5 in April of 1925...It is believed that Knight's strong interest in the occult attracted him to the writings of Aleister Crowley and we know that Maxwell Knight actually had the opportunity to personally meet the Great Beast around 1937."

From :
"...soon after he joined the British Fascists he was appointed as the organization's Director of Intelligence. In this role he had responsibility for compiling intelligence dossiers on its enemies; for planning counter-espionage and for establishing and supervising fascist cells operating in the trade union movement.

Knight's work as Director of Intelligence for the British Fascists brought him to the attention of Vernon Kell, Director of the Home Section of the Secret Service Bureau. This government organization had responsibility of investigating espionage, sabotage and subversion in Britain and was also known as MI5.

In 1925 Kell recruited Knight to work for the Secret Service Bureau. Knight played a significant role in helping to defeat the General Strike in 1926 and by the early 1930s was placed in charge of B5b, a unit that conducted the monitoring of political subversion."

-Methodius

Thanks for the info Methodius! I hadn't thought to look into the name Maxwell Knight (I had assumed that it was an alias)... I wonder if the names Bridget Fischer, Charles Hasting and Robert Henley also reference similar subjects.

That's all I've got time for now. Sorry once again to all the people who are awaiting response to e-mails. Life is more than a little hectic at present. I promise that I'll try to clear my in-box sometime soon.

Ciao!

Loonies... Woodwork...

2005-01-10T18:48:00.000+11:00

It would appear that Neurocam is destined to always bring the loonies out of the woodwork.

Just as Tript, Hamish, Xade and Lady J have received e-mails from Oulios Iatromantis, so have I, although mine reads a little differently.

Subject: Leave Neurocam -NOW
Sender: Oulios Iatromantis
Date: Sunday Jaunary 9, 2005

Dear Graham,

Let me keep this simple -– please. I must warn you, the Fabry crises are only the most obvious symptoms as a consequence of becoming too involved in Neurocam. As some have suspected, Neurocam is some kind of social experiment – just on a completely different scale than they think. The question, as always, is one of purpose. It seems that they're still only playing games with you, but trust me there's more at stake than you know.

You, of all the Melbourne recruits are likely in more danger. The repercussions for your sanity, and your genetic health, are profound. At the very least if you ignore this, fine, you've be warned. But don't let them inject anything into you, don't consume anything given to you by a Neurocam operative, and don't, under any conditions, remain in an air tight environment with any Neurocam personnel. "You" will never be "you" again.

"...the limits of one's learning are determined by one's own nature. Therefore, there is no point in talking about knowledge. Fear of knowledge is natural; all of us experience it. But no matter how frightening learning is, it is more terrible to think of a person without knowledge." Don Juan

And, more dangerous.

The truth is deeper, darker, and a whole lot more real.

Oulios Iatromantis ~

The mares that carry me as far as longing can reach rode on, once they had come and fetched me onto the legendary road of the divinity that carries the man who knows through the vast and dark unknown ~

My "genetic health"? What the hell does that mean?

I would have dismissed this as just another Neurocam stunt, except that it seems to cover a lot of similar ground as an e-mail I received from someone named jditezzio (who, based on this post, I suspect is actually Lady J) recently... Perhaps this has something to do with her... This e-mail was sent to me a few weeks ago, but due to general busyiness and slackness I hadn't yet got around to reporting, or responding to, it.

Subject: ANALYSIS OF "Document 4 - Robert Henley to Fiat Nox."(Posted July 12th 2004)
Sender: jditezzio
Date: Thursday December 30, 2004

I did not see any analysis of this document on your blog, so I thought I'd send this along to you. Feel free to post this if you want.

---------------

ANALYSIS OF "Document 4 - Robert Henley to Fiat Nox."(Posted July 12th 2004)

"FIAT NOX" is latin, which roughly translates to "Let There Be Night". Associated with chaos magic.

"Salutation on All Points of The Triangle" - A phrase associated with the "Ordo Templi Orientis (OTO)". The O.T.O. is an Outer Thelemic Order which is dedicated to the high purpose of securing the Liberty of the Individual and his or her advancement in Light, Wisdom, Understanding, Knowledge, and Power through Beauty, Courage, and Wit, on the Foundation of Universal Brotherhood. The Themelic tradition originated from Aleister Crowley.

http://oto-usa.org/

"Star Ruby" - a magical ritual originally called "Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram", it was modified by Aleister Crowley in his book "Magick in Theory and Practice". The Star Ruby is a basic Thelemic banishing ritual. It is used appropriately anywhere a banishing ritual is required in the preparation of a space--personal or for a circle or temple--where a specific Thelemic emphasis or setting is desired.

http://lionserpent.com/xxvanalysis.html

"The Middle Pillar" - Another ritual of the Thelemic tradition. It's meant to balance the Elements of a person.

http://thelemicgoldendawn.tripod.com/neophyte/mp2.html

"Mass of the Phoenix" - Another Aleister Crowley ritual assocated with members of Crowley's Order of Thelemites. The Mass of the Phoenix is a simple exoteric form of the Eucharist for daily use of the Magician. The Eucharist is "communion" or the act of receiving the Sacrament.

http://thelemicgoldendawn.tripod.com/phoenix.htm

"...of which the Master speaks" - In 1912 Aleister Crowley was named Grand Master of the OTO.

---------------

"The SAPPHIRE unit has demonstrated a particular vulnerability to Fabry crises and is being returned to Eng. for Alpha Galactosidase sluicing. I recommend caution in the mobilization of this unit."
-- Document 4 - Robert Henley to Fiat Nox. (Posted July 12th 2004)

FABRY DISEASE OVERVIEW
http://www.fabrycommunity.com/patient/about/fc_p_pt_fabry-disease.asp

Quoting from the article:

"Fabry disease is a rare hereditary disorder caused by a faulty gene in the body."

The periods of intense, burning pain caused by the disease is called a Fabry crisis.

"When people inherit the abnormal gene that causes Fabry disease, their bodies cannot produce enough of an important enzyme called alpha-galactosidase A (pronounced al-fa-ga-lak-toe-si-daze a) or alpha-GAL. Alpha-GAL is needed to clear certain cells in the body of a fatty substance called globotriaosylceramide (pronounced glow-bow-tri-oh-syl-ser-a-mide) or GL-3."

---------------

THE STAR SYMBOL AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE

The star symbol is the Star of David. If it was enclosed in a circle it would be called the Seal of Solomon, a warding or protective symbol. I can't make out what's in the center of the symbol based on what's on your blog, so that's all I can say about it.

It's all very interesting and it would seem that the Neurocam mystery is kicking into a higher gear. The only thing is that I'm not convinced that I, considering I'm about to go on tour for 15 weeks, actually have the time (or patience) to keep looking through all of this stuff.

In one week's time I will have been dancing to Neurocam's tune for a whole calender year... Maybe it's time to hand the baton of investigation on to some of the new operatives...

Then again, maybe I'm just worried about maintaining my "genetic health".

News...

2005-01-08T16:00:00.000+11:00

It's been an extremely slow blogging week, due mostly to the fact that I am weary... In more ways than one.

Firstly, I am physically weary due to the fact that last week was the production week for Things We Do For Love.

It looks like it's going to be a great show and the set is absolutely fantastic. The set is also absolutely huge (a three storey house on stage) and filled to the hilt with set electrics, so I 've spent most of the last week on my hands and knees, drilling holes and running things through wall cavities.

Lots of 14 hour work days combined with an ongoing bout of insomnia has resulted in a rather fluffy-headed, slightly strung-out Graham... Still, I've got today off, so I should be able to get a bit of my energy back.

My apologies to everybody who has e-mailed me over the last two weeks and has yet to receive a response. It's been a little crazy and I haven't had much free time in which to plant my arse in front of my computer. I'll start answering those e-mails over the next few days. This especially goes out to the new Neurocamites Martin, Gabriel Blade and Lady J who have all contacted me and must, by now, think that I am incredibly anti-social... "Your e-mail is important to us, but all our operators are currently pre-occupied..."

The other bit of "weary" news that I have is actually remarkably good news - I've recently signed a contract and so can now announce that, starting from the 2nd week of February, I will be going on tour with the show "Weary", a new Alan Hopgood play about the life and times of Australian icon Weary Dunlop.

I'll be Head Electrician for the tour and, over a 15 week period, we'll be touring to Canberra, Launceston, Hobart, The Gold Coast, Adelaide, Perth, Melbourne and Sydney.... It should be a blast.

I'm intending to keep a detailed tour diary here, but we'll just have to wait and see whether or not that's practical. If you're a friend of mine and you live in any of the above cities, you can expect to meet me for a beer in the near future.

It's 4am...

2005-01-04T04:16:00.000+11:00

... and I can't sleep.

I keep waking up for no apparent reason and find myself staring at the ceiling once again.

Today is the first day of the Things We Do For Love production week.

This is going to hurt by 11pm tonight.

Happy New Year!

2005-01-01T16:12:00.000+11:00

Happy New Year!

Last night was a pearler. After a brief visit to FANG, Chris and I braved the crowds on the southbank of the Yarra and fought our way to a remarkably privileged firework-viewing position on the top of the Concert Hall at the Arts Centre.

A great way to see in the new year, especially since we were able to witness the chaos, whilst still managing to be removed from it.

Interestingly enough, the person I was standing next to directly after the fireworks went off was the event manager for the Southbank celebrations, who seemed, considering the chaos occurring below, remarkably relaxed about the whole thing.

We both, however, thought that it was quite odd that the crowd marshals seemed to think that their job finished at the same time the fireworks did. The Swanston Street Bridge (pictured above) was meant to be partially closed for the duration of the celebrations... "meant to be" being the operative phrase... Fireworks went off, barricades were removed and crowd marshals went home as the thousands and thousands of people swarmed onto the bridge.

Once the crowds had cleared a little, we made our way to the Gin Palace, where Long Island Ice Tea's were consumed in abundance.

When we finally left the city at around 4.30am, we were delighted to discover that the trams were still running (and free)... Nice to see that the local government isn't completely scrooge-like...

So this is the new year? Mmmmm.... Looks a lot like the last one...

What's my New Year's resolution? To come up with a poignant, but witty, New Year's resolution for next year...

Whoops...

2004-12-30T22:43:00.000+11:00

A couple of weeks ago I completed my last Neurocam assignment when I delivered a silver briefcase to Operative Meni.

When I first received the briefcase, courtesy of Iocus Severus, I had a brief moment when I thought it was quite odd that Neurocam was no longer attempting to pretend that Iocus Severus was a separate entity.

At the time I assumed that they had decided to do away with that sub-plot and that it would be relegated to the ever-growing list of "Neurocam inconsistencies".

It would appear, however, that my assumption was wrong.

Today I received the following -

Sender: Iocus Severus
Subject: Briefcase
Date: Thursday December 30, 2004.

Graham

Thank you for taking such good care of my property.

Your generosity has saved me a great inconvenience.

I would now like my briefcase back.

When would you be available to meet?

Regards,

Iocus Severus.

Oops... I think I might have some explaining to do...

This one's for CCR.

2004-12-28T20:08:00.000+11:00

Microworld - Megaquality - Minor Article.

2004-12-27T21:57:00.000+11:00

As an ex-Canberran who considered himself remarkably well-informed about the minutiae detail of the Canberra electronic music scene, I was thoroughly surprised to discover that there was a considerable hole in my knowledge.

I'd heard of Microworld before, an acclaimed producer whose tracks have been played by the likes of Dave Seaman and John Digweed, but was completely unaware that he was, like myself, an ex-Canberran.

Luckily In The Mix gave me the opportunity to plug that hole in my knowledge.

You can read the micro-interview I did with Microworld here.

So that was XMAS...

2004-12-26T15:01:00.000+11:00

... and what did I do?

XMAS this year was a relatively quiet affair.

Sharn worked all day and my housemates have all retreated north to Canberra, so I was pretty much left to fend for myself.

The morning was spent making a Caesar Salad, which is something that you've got to promise not to let my housemates know since it would shatter their illusion that I am utterly unable to prepare food of any kind.

I then spent the afternoon/evening at an "orphan's XMAS" held in the abode of Robyn and Johnboy.

Various members of "The Canberra Mafia" (ex-canberrans who have escaped and migrated to Melbourne) enjoyed excellent food, excellent company and excellent conversation. I could succumb to temptation and say that an excellent time was had by all, but if I did that I might be accused of going through a Bill & Ted phase, so I'd best salvage what remains of my credibility and resist.

It was especially lovely to spend some non-work related time with DJ and Kelly (who are actually "townsville mafia" but were adopted by the Canberran refugees for this XMAS).

After many hours and a couple of bottles of red I headed home to bed, thoroughly content and stuffed with food and merriment. So here's a big shout out of thanks to Bobbi and JB for their fabulous hospitality!

Boxing day has also been a relatively sedate affair (so far).

This morning I immersed myself in Sharn's XMAS present to me (The Return of The King Special Edition) and then, head filled with images of hobbits and nazgul, went and enjoyed a coffee at the local cafe.

Now I'm busy surfing the net, alternating between listening to the latest Hybrid mix I've downloaded, and the absolutely amazing live Spearhead show that I've had sitting on my harddrive for quite sometime.

The result of all this rest and relaxation is that I'm beginning to feel slightly... well.... relaxed, which is actually quite an odd feeling since it's something that happens to me fairly rarely.

Anyway, that's all for now, time to go back to mindless surfing, book reading and music listening...

Training deficiency.

2004-12-24T19:09:00.000+11:00

This year I've received a lot of training and have learnt a lot of things.

I've learnt to direct cranes, bandage arms, build work platforms, wire 3 phase sockets, treat burns and rig boatswains chairs.

Unfortunately I haven't received training in wrapping XMAS presents.

So as I sit here in my room with a multitude of paper cuts on my hands, scissor cuts on my fingers, selotape on my clothing and piles of XMAS paper off-cuts strewn around the room, I thought it might be nice to take a break from my extremely poorly wrapped XMAS presents so as to wish you all a Merry XMAS.

I love the idea (if not always the reality) of XMAS. The idea of taking a day out to remind everybody that you appreciate them and love them touches a spot in my heart.... and I like to remind myself of that fact whenever I'm feeling dejected about my inability to make a fold in paper without ripping it.

And so to friends new and old, absent and present, I wish you an amazing XMAS and a happy New Year.

Bah! That's enough sentimentality for one day... Back to the wrapping...

It's still all about....

2004-12-22T23:41:00.000+11:00

... Neurocam!

The wide world web has gone crazy!

The number of hits on this blog has been insane!

And it seems that Neurocam is taking everything in it's stride...

Here are a few more Neuro-links I found today -

Operative Aliask - A brand new blog from a brand new operative.

Hello? Is this thing switched on? - Another brand new operative.

The Nonist - Has a little piece on the 'cam...

... As does The Waya.

There's a neat discussion on Australian INfront...

.... And another one over at Atomic.

The She-Geek In Training has said a few words...

... And so have a few of the 23rdian crew.

Mmmmm.... It's all very interesting, although they all seem to be saying similar things...

One website which is talking about it in a different way is this one... Anyone out there speak French and feel like interpreting?

So, has anybody found any other refrences that I've missed?

Who are you calling yellow?

2004-12-21T22:37:00.000+11:00

It's official! I passed my latest Aikido grading and am now 5th Kyu (green belt).

So does this mean that I am now a lean mean fighting machine ready to take on all comers?

Not even close.... But it does mean that I am more likely to roll in a straight line when thrown across a room by angry directors, which is a step in the right direction.

Seriously though, I'm feeling pretty chuffed. It's been just over a year since I began doing Aikido and I'm still loving every bit of it (although not every bit of me loves it... My knees are once again in discussions with a divorce lawyer).

From here on in the training will continue to get harder and harder, but I'm confident that I'm in it for the long haul... Black belt here I come!..... Provided a knee reconstruction doesn't come first.

Everybody's talking...

2004-12-19T23:22:00.000+11:00

It seems that everybody's talking about Neurocam.

Firstly there's been a healthy discussion over at Metafilter.

Then there's another version of the same over on Live Journal.

Over at the Domain Name Forum there's been further debate about whether or not Neurocam in "Art".

The good folks over at the Whirlpool seem to think it's a bit of a joke.

Perhaps most interesting of all is the newly established blog by newly joined Neurocam lackey ICE. Welcome to the party Ice!

Is this all due to The Age article? I'd say the majority of it is, but the Domain Name Forum debate definitely began before the article, as did Ice's blog.

Is this just the beginning for Neurocam? Or are they attempting to go out with a bang not a whimper?

I'm not sure, but another hint may be provided by the following e-mail I received today -

Sender: *********
Subject: Illuminatus, 23 and Neurocam
Date: Sunday December 19, 2004.

Graham,

I recently became aware of Neurocam, and reading your blog entry on the train station locker, it's obvious that whoever is giving you your assignments is a fan of the Illuminatus! Trilogy. Given the mindset of Neurocam and the obsessive if absurd numerology in the book, I guarantee you it is not a coincidence that the briefcase was in locker #23.

If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it. At the very least it will help get you into the right mindset.

The Illuminatus? Could it be that Neurocam is just part of the oldest conspiracy of all?

I'll have to track down Hagbard Celine and ask him...

A big day in the life of....

2004-12-18T16:07:00.000+11:00

big (bg) -
adj. big·ger, big·gest Of considerable size, number, quantity, magnitude, or extent; large.

There are big days and there are BIG days, and today has definitely been one of the latter.

It started with Mark Moncrief's mega-sized Neurocam expose which was printed in The Age today. Even though Mark had made me aware that the story would run today, I still received a considerable thrill when I discovered that there was a picture of me on the front page of the paper. Wow, I look good when I'm in the shadows.... Even if I'm not entirely sure if that's a good thing...

For those of you who haven't yet read the article you can read an online version here, complete with a myriad of pictures (including one of my own "shadowy" countenance).

It's a shame, though, that the link to my blog is listed as "Delivery Boy's blog".... Hmmmmm.....

The moment I finished reading the article, however, I was forced to remove all thought of it from my mind. Why? Because at lunchtime today I had my latest Aikido grading.

This time I was attempting to move from 6th Kyu (yellow belt) to 5th Kyu (green belt). For the last two weeks I've been training extra hard for this grading (13 classes in 14 days) and today it all paid off. Although I won't get the official results until next week I'm positive that I passed.

Tonight, to top off my BIG day, I'll be going to my dojo's XMAS BBQ.

Neurocam, Aikido and Food - A great combination which has resulted in one amazingly big day!

Neurocam Assignment - Delivery Boy - Part 2

2004-12-17T23:37:00.000+11:00

I’ve spoken in the past about the fact that I am, by nature, a remarkably curious creature. So it’s fair to say that being in possession of a briefcase, the exact contents of which were unknown to me, was quite a head-trip.

I’m sure, then, that you won’t be surprised to learn that once I got the briefcase home I immediately did what any other curiosity-ridden person would do – I tried to break in to it.

After about half an hour of the tried and true (but tedious and time consuming) method of trying each possible combination in numerical order (I got to 301 406) I decided to take a break and check my e-mail.

The e-mail at the top of my in-box was from Charles Hastings, Head of Neurocam’s Operations Division.

Sender: Operations Division
Subject: Neurocam Assignment NCI-4351/02
Date: Thursday December 9, 2004

Neurocam Assignment NCI-4351/02

Critical Information Couriering - Phase 2 - Delivery.

(A) MISSION

The secure delivery of a briefcase which contains an object of vital importance to Neurocam International's continued operations in the Asia-Pacific Quadrant.

(B) EXECUTION

Below are the procedural details for this assignment. Any deviation from the operational protocol described will result in a possible requirement of disciplinary action.

1. You are required to contact Operative Meni via the following e-mail address - *********

2. Arrange a mutually convenient place and time for transfer of the briefcase you have in your possession. During your correspondence DO NOT reveal the exact nature of the briefcase. At all times refer to the briefcase as "a parcel".

3. Upon delivery of the briefcase, you are required to obtain evidence of the transfer. This evidence must be provided in at least one of the following forms - Photographic, audio-visual, audio, retinal scan, bio-metric authentication, fingerprint imprint or any alternate form of definitive evidence you are able to procure.

4. Submit a report of the transfer to the Operations Division (operations@neurocam.com) with transfer evidence attached.

(C) OPERATIONAL SECURITY

In the interest of assuring the safety of Operative Graham Henstock it is essential that all operatives BCC all correspondence to Neurocam International's Operations Division (operations@neurocam.com). If this does not occur, Neurocam refuses accountability for any detrimental consequences arising from the operative's encounter.

In addition, although the final location of the meeting is entirely at the discretion of the operatives, Neurocam International strongly recommends that the exchange take place in a heavily populated area, so as to further ensure the safety of both operatives.

(D) TIMELINE

It is the opinion of the Operations Division that a period of 72 hours, following the moment of initial contact between operatives, should be sufficient for the completion of this assignment.

Neurocam International, however, respects the potential difficulty of arranging a mutually convenient meeting time and so is prepared to be flexible regarding the deadline upon this assignment. Nevertheless, please be aware that the contents of the parcel are of utmost importance to our organization and thus the most expedient possible completion of this assignment would be highly appreciated.

Regards,

Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Asia-Pacific Quadrant
Neurocam International
operations@neurocam.com

As I finished reading the e-mail my curiosity levels increased exponentially. Who was “Operative Meni”? Why did he/she need the briefcase? Why did Iocus Severus give me the briefcase “for safe-keeping” if it was intended to be used as part of a Neurocam assignment?

There was only one way I would get answers to these questions so I promptly fired off an e-mail to Operative Meni (whose e-mail address I have censored for reasons which will soon become apparent). I then settled in for another attempt of “briefcase break and enter” (my patience for which lasted a whopping ten minutes).

The next day I was delighted to discover an e-mail from Operative Meni awaiting my return home from work. As I read the e-mail its tone and style reinforced a scenario that I had been entertaining all day – A scenario in which Operative Meni was just another Neurocam operative who probably had little or no idea about what was contained within the briefcase.

After a couple of e-mails (and a quick phone call) a time and place for our meeting was agreed upon. Due to conflicting work commitments, however, we were unable to find a time which fell within the 72 hour period suggested by Charles Hastings, so we opted instead to throw ourselves upon the mercy of the “flexible deadline” clause, contained within the assignment, and arranged to meet outside the Commonwealth Bank in South Melbourne at 1.30pm on Thursday the 16th of December.

For the next five days the briefcase sat in my room, tempting me with its mystery, but, despite considerable pressure from my housemates, I managed to resist the urge to crack the locks open with a screwdriver and hammer.

And so it was that at 1.15pm on Thursday the 16th of December I ended up telling my boss a lame excuse about how I had a “thing” to do as justification for why I had to leave for lunch on the dot of 1.15pm.

As I pulled up in South Melbourne I attached my Neurocam badge (sorry, signifier) to the collar of my shirt, removed the briefcase from my car and headed for the Commonwealth Bank, keeping my eyes peeled for a possible “Operative Meni”.

It wasn’t long before I spotted a well dressed business woman who was also sporting a Neurocam badge.

“Graham?” She asked.

“Yes.”

She then looked down at the briefcase and her eyes bulged slightly.

“Is that it?” She enquired incredulously.

“Yep.”

Looking thoroughly bewildered Operative Meni took the briefcase from me and turned to leave.
Before she could make a dash for it, however, I stopped her and explained that I needed to take a photo as evidence that the transfer had occurred. Meni seemed a little alarmed by the suggestion, but then agreed on the condition that I did not photograph her face.

Once I managed to perform the necessary rituals required to get my housemate’s digital camera to work, Meni and I said our goodbyes. She then promptly headed off back to whence she had came, briefcase in-hand and, I’m guessing, glad to be removing her self from what must have been a thoroughly bizarre encounter with a man who didn’t even know how to use a camera properly.

I watched Meni leave and then returned back to work, briefcase-less and none the wiser.

And so it was that I completed Neurocam Assignment NCI-4351/02.

I can’t help but wonder, though, if Operative Meni is currently sitting somewhere, trying lock-combinations in numerical order….

Neurocam Assignment - Delivery Boy - Part 1.

2004-12-16T23:37:00.000+11:00

It’s been over a week since I was given my latest Neurocam assignment and I’ve been itching to reveal what it was.

I think enough time has passed (and if it hasn’t, then I’m sure the Neurocam management will learn to cope), so let’s get stuck into it –

Neurocam Assignment NCI-4351/02 (or how I became a Neurocam delivery boy).

I was quite surprised, last Wednesday, when I received an e-mail from the mysterious Iocus Severus. Due to the ongoing absence of correspondence I had assumed that the peculiar pen-pall with the elastic vocabulary had disowned me completely and was now focusing his attentions on some other Neurocam lackey. It’s nice to know that I was wrong.

His e-mail to me reads:

Sender: Iocus Severus
Subject: I need your help
Date: Wednesday December 8, 2004.

Graham

I'm in a spot of bother. Something has come into my possession that needs looking after. I can no longer trust any of the others. Can you see your way to lending me a hand?

Signify your availability for any time during the week 6 - 12 December.

Kind regards,

Iocus Severus

I immediately responded with the details of my availability and didn’t have to wait long for a reply. A mere fifteen minutes later the following arrived in my in-box.

Sender: Iocus Severus
Subject: Details
Date: Wednesday December 8, 2004.

Graham

Thank you for offering to help.

Here are the details of what I require you to do. Please follow these instructions to the letter.

At 5.15pm on Thurday December 9, 2004, make you way to Spencer Street Train Station. Use the Spencer Street entrance. Make you way down the ramp, turn right and enter the first male facilities that you see (on your left). Go to the 2nd cubicle from the end. Wait there for 5 minutes.

Regards,

Iocus Severus.

P.S: Remember the Atbash Cypher.

For those you weren’t aware, the Atbash Cypher is a form of cryptography that Iocus Severus and I touched upon during some of our earlier correspondence.

Since I drive nearly everywhere, I had never been to Spencer Street Station before. Even though I had assumed that a Spencer Street peak hour rush would be a little intense, I must admit that I was completely overwhelmed by the chaotic hustle and bustle that greeted me when I arrived at the designated time. Of course it’s possible that the adrenalin running through my veins added considerably to my sense of unrest.

As I ducked and weaved through the sizable crowd (displaying high-school football skills thought long forgotten) I couldn’t help but wonder how it was that Iocus Severus thought he was going to be able to conduct a covert encounter in so densely a populated area.

I quickly located the male toilets and, following the instructions given to me, made my way to the 2nd cubicle from the end. I entered the cubicle and locked the door shut behind me.

I considered taking a seat but, given the situation, decided that was just a little too weird and so decided to stand and wait. Outside I could hear a constant procession of bladder relievers, hair-do checkers, hand dryer users and crotch scratchers.

About three minutes had past when, without warning, a manila envelope was slipped under the wall of my cubicle (from the cubicle at the end). To my surprise a distinctly female voice then spoke – “Wait five minutes then open the envelope.”

Before I could respond, I heard the door of the cubicle next to mine open. Its occupant departed and the sound of her footsteps quickly merged with the myriad of other bathroom noises.

Once five minutes had elapsed I bent down, picked up the envelope, opened it and examined its contents.

Inside there was a single piece of paper which read (in thick black letters) –

OLLP RM GSV XRHGVIM!

Using my vast Atbash Cypher knowledge (and a cheat sheet I had prepared earlier) I immediately deciphered the message –

LOOK IN THE CISTERN!

Things were quickly changing from being slightly weird to being thoroughly bizarre.

The person who designed cisterns for train station toilets obviously hadn’t intended for them to be easily remove. After about three minutes of grunting and groaning (which would have sounded delightful to anybody else who happened to be listening) I was finally able to remove the cistern lid.

Floating in the top of the cistern was a zip-locked bag.

Throwing modesty and hygiene to the wind, I reached in and removed the bag. I then replaced the cistern lid.

I opened the zip-lock bag and removed its contents. The only thing inside was a small cardboard ticket, about the size of a tram pass.

It took me a few moments to realise what I was holding, but when realisation eventually dawned I was filled with a sense of almost uncontrollable excitement – The ticket in my hand was a pass card for one of the secure lockers I had passed on my way into the station.

I made my way out of the male toilets and headed directly for the lockers across the walkway. As I approached the lockers I looked around. Was anybody watching me? Could I see anybody who looked familiar? To my relief, I couldn’t spot anybody who seemed to be paying me any undue attention (although it must be said that by this point I felt like I was acting awfully suspiciously).

I fed the pass card into the panel located at the centre of the lockers and heard a satisfying “click” as one of the lockers popped open. I walked up to locker 23 and looked inside… Sure enough, here was the “something” that Iocus Severus had intended for me – A shiny silver, combination-lock briefcase.

As I removed the briefcase I took one last look around. As far as I could tell I wasn’t being watched but, as I know from past experience, you never can be 100% sure when it comes to Neurocam.

All of the way home I was racked with curiosity – What was in the briefcase? Why did Iocus Severus want me to have it? What would happen next?

The last question, at least, was answered almost as soon as I got home. Waiting in my e-mail in-box was an e-mail from Charles Hastings.

Now I know you’re dying to know what it said, but it’s time for me to once again utilize one of my famous “cliff-hangers”. It’s getting late and it’s high time I went to bed. I promise I’ll post the rest of the details of this assignment sometime tomorrow night.

Until then, you’ll just have to live in suspense.

It seemed like a good idea at the time...

2004-12-15T23:01:00.000+11:00

With my next Aikido grading looming large (this Saturday, to be precise) attending five aikido classes in three days seemed like a good idea at the start of the week...

...Now I'm not so sure.

To be fair, I am, as a result of such intensive training, much better acquainted with the techniques I need to know for the grading, but it's the sharp stabbing pains in my hands and fingers that are currently causing a reassessment of my earlier theory.

No more typing for now. I'm too sore. Time for sleep instead...

And tomorrow? Another Aikido class of course....

Merry Meredith Musings.

2004-12-13T22:23:00.000+11:00

It's the start of summer in Australia which means it's also the start of the music festival season.

Whether it's The Big Day Out, Summerdayze or Carols By Candlelight most Australians love a good music festival and I'm no exception to that rule.

I've already told you all about my recent trip to Earthcore (which officially occurred in Spring, but still deserves a mention) so now it's time to tell you about my second music festival experience of the season.

Last weekend Sharn and I packed the tent and made our way to the Meredith Music Festival.

I'd never been to the Meredith Music Festival before, so it was an entirely new experience.

My first surprise came when I discovered that Meredith only has one stage. I had imagined that, for a festival of it's size, it would have at least two stages. This fact ended up being one of the major negative aspects of the festival - If you didn't like the act that was on you had little choice but to endure them.

This issue was compounded by the fact that there was very little else to do at the festival. Where Earthcore had a bustling market place, swimming hole and drum playing workshops, and Summerdayze had six stages and a bubblebath, Meredith only had the one stage and a few food stalls. This led to a lot of sitting in the natural amphitheatre, waiting for the next act to start, contemplating how much time needed to pass before I could justify another ice cream...

It wasn't all bad, though, since I did like more than a few of the acts.

Some highlights were -

* Sage Francis. I've only discovered the work of Sage Francis over the last few months and I can't recommend him highly enough. A tough talking, globally concerned rapper from the US, Sage was at his best when he informed the crowd that "The Sun is merely reflection from the moon, stealing all the lime-light" and that "God is not a woman, he is a biatch!" Great Stuff.

* Young Heart Attack. Yeah it's just rock, but it's DAMN GOOD rock... Mmmmmmm...

* The Unicorns. Weird Canadian Pop in white jump suits and sequins. Fantastic fun!

* Hilltop Hoods. Man! Can those boys work a crowd or what? One of the most energetic, enthralling live performances I have seen. It probably helped that, due to Triple J's recent choice of feature CD, I knew most of the lyrics. They rate a huge 9 out of 10 jumping dreadlocked party-goers.

* Watching an electrical storm slowly advance towards us. Nature is at its best when it's at its extremes, and a sky full of lightning is an amazing thing to witness under any circumstance.

Some low-lights were -

* The Mud. They'll be digging up tents and bogged Mazda's for years to come.

* The Dirty Three. It's a shame that I have to say this, since I absolutely LOVE The Dirty Three, but whomever decided that it would be a good idea to put them on straight after the Hilltop Hoods should be tarred and feathered. One minute the crowd is jumping around, happy and hyped, and the next minute they are being subjected to an hour and half of music more suited to a funeral dirge... Sloppy programming on somebody's behalf... Still, they did provide the perfect soundtrack for the arrival of the electrical storm.

* The rain. What amazing summer weather we've been having... By my count it's been raining for 10 of the 13 days of summer... Yeah.... That's what summer's all about...

* The sun. When it wasn't raining the sun was intense. A little bit more shade wouldn't have gone astray. Thankfully Sharn and I were well stocked with 30+ sunscreen, but I have no doubt that more than a few melanomas were conceived last weekend.

All in all, despite my whingeing, I had a pretty good time and I'm very glad I went.

Next up... Mmmmm... Not sure.... Maybe the Big Day Out in Melbourne...

... But the word could not yet be passed along.

2004-12-09T21:50:00.000+11:00

As I had anticipated in my last post, today has turned out to be VERY strange day.

Unfortunately I’ve been asked not to blog about my experience until such time as I am given an "all clear”.

I will, however, say this much – I am now in possession of an… item…which, it would appear, has some Neurocam significance.

I promise I’ll reveal more detail just as soon as I am allowed.

I can't help but wonder, however, whether Xade already knows some of the details.... Maybe I should meet him in the "cone of silence".

There was movement at the station...

2004-12-08T22:44:00.000+11:00

Now I know that Xade has already commented on the fact that there seems to have been a dramatic increase in the amount of Neurocam activity of late, but I wonder if he's received an e-mail anything like mine.

This morning I received a mysterious e-mail from somebody whom I thought had disowned me...

I won't say anything more now, except that I suspect that tomorrow may end up being a VERY interesting day.

I must admit, however, that I find it dreadfully amusing that this certain somebody has chosen now to contact me... Shouldn't friends also contact you at times when they DON'T need your help?

Bah! Maybe I'm just being old fashioned.

Flying Blogs.

2004-12-07T23:01:00.000+11:00

Are blogs like flies?

No? Well it certainly seems like they're dropping like them.

I must admit that I shed a small tear when I realised that I-Merge had decided to call it a day. A tear indeed, but, truth be told, I took some solace in the fact that I would still get to hear Chris' take on the world and world events any time I knocked on his bedroom door and forced him to come drink a beer with me.

It would seem, however, that being on my "Blogs Worth A Look" list is akin to a death sentence for any self respecting blog. Much to my horror, it would appear that CCR has also hung up his blogging shoes and retreated once more into the realms of anonymity.

And so it is that I now raise a glass to both of those blogs (and their respective authors) and say "Fare thee well fellow travelers. It was fun to travel alongside you for at least a little while."

Afghanistan's Capitalism.

2004-12-05T19:25:00.000+11:00

In 2001, following an intensive bombing campaign and remarkably short ground war, The United States Of America brought two of it's driving principles to Afghanistan - Democracy and Capitalism.

Three years on Democracy is still like the new, slightly nerdy, kid in the schoolyard. Everybody can see he's got some good ideas, but very few of the other kids are ready to admit to being his friend... Perhaps he'd be more popular if he lost the pocket protector.

Capitalism, on the other hand, is just like the handsome, charismatic rich kid who has been dropped off in his parents Ferrari. Everybody wants to be his friend.

The philosophy of Capitalism is quite simple - Figure out what you've got and then determine a way to make money off of it.

Unfortunately Afghanistan is a pretty desolate country and they're having a bit of difficulty discovering things they can make money from. In fact, to be perfectly honest, the only things they seem to have in abundance is Opium and Osama Bin Laden. Good thing, then, that they've found ways to make money off of both of them.

The opium trade in Afghanistan is booming and it would appear that it's going to continue to be that way for quite some time.

Osama Bin Laden, on the other hand, seems to have gone missing. Oh well, never mind, there's still plenty of ways to make money off of him. Osama world? Golly gee! Does that mean there'll soon be underpaid teenagers dressed in plush Osama Bin Laden costumes that kids won't be able to help but hug?

It's nice to see that capitalism is working out so well for the afghans... I'll be sure to visit once they've opened the rollercoaster in Osama Mountain, but in the mean time I'm going to allow myself to be distracted by "Where's Osama?".